Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year 2012, Isn't sounding very good

Happy New Year, so they say. I'm not in such a happy mood today as I look forward to the coming months I'm more sad than anything. 2012 has many nasty things in store for us.

It was awesome to have my parents here for the holidays. My children will remember that for many years, if not their lifetime. Christmas was special having Grammy and Grampy here. But today brings the New year and Grammy and Grampy had to go back home. Today also brings taking down the Christmas decorations as we prepare for Zeus to depart at the end of the week.

This year will not be fun as Zeus will be gone multiple times for a total of about 9 months time or more, Thank you Air Force.  I am really anxious and somewhat sad knowing that all the kids birthdays, my birthday, Zeus's birthday, Valentines day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year will all be spent Zeusless. This makes me very sad.

He has a heavy travel schedule that entails him leaving the first few months of the year for two week intervals. This is the worst. Then he'll come home for a bit (a couple weeks) before taking that dreaded (LONG) tour overseas fighting for America and all the rights afforded to each of us.

So this new year makes me sad. I dread walking through each of these many months and weeks alone as a single parent and whats worse is my family and inlaws are many hundreds of miles away. With the kids in school I will have to stay out here with little to no travel back home for help or relief or even companionship. I must go it alone. The worst thing about TDY's and deployments is the dread of departure. Guess I better start looking for a reliable babysitter as well, with skating competitions quickly approaching. UGGGGGGGG.

Today I am sad.
Today I am scared.
Today I want 2013 to be here already.
Today I want this nightmare to go away.

Pray for me, Pray for my family, Pray for patience, safety and pray that I can find and build a support system fast. Pray that all the tears will run dry and that God will guide me step by step through this overgrown jungle of loneliness. Pray God gives me the words to comfort my four precious babies through their emotional roller coaster as well.

This New year is not a happy one for me. I guess this is just a pity post filled with my emotions as all the leaving begins and will continue through the last day of the year. YUCK!!!! Anyone want to trade?

I hope all of you have a Fantastic 2012 with many new blessings and wonderful events to look forward too.

Thanks for listening, errrr I mean, I guess reading. Being able to blog helps me deal with all the swirling emotions dive bombing me this new year.

Blessings to all and may God Bless Our Troops and bring them all home safe including my Zeus.


Charisse said...

Awwww I will be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way, hon. I am here to chat and vent any time you want.