Thursday, December 13, 2012

Its birthday time again

Today 7 and 11 years ago I delivered two precious little boys. My boys are funny, smart, energetic, sweet, loving and such special babies. I'm blessed to have these two little guys in my life. The birth of each of them added more joy to our lives. Omega loved having a little brother for his 4th birthday. Today the shared birthday isn't always the best thing in his view. I knew that day would come.

Omega, the newest 11yr old, is such a tenderhearted soul. He dreams of one day performing on the Olympic stage in gymnastics. He dreams of controlling robots on distant planets from the NASA control center. This boy reads an awful lot of books. He plays the trumpet beautifully and loves to analyze most situations. Omega is a spitting image of his father both physically and mentally. Omega son, when you read this know that Daddy and I love you more than ever.

Ziggy, our newest 7yr old, is our baby. Our last child. He is so fond of his older brothers. He loves computers. He dreams of big things he cannot yet put into words. He loves sports. He loves sleeping. He moves super slow and can be a stubborn bull at times. But oh those little hugs are priceless. What a sweet boy.

God has loaned me 4 wonderful children to raise. Today I celebrate 2 boys. Today we thank The Lord for health of these little boys. We thank The Lord for another day with each of them. Today we love our family!!

Happy Birthday Boys

Monday, October 1, 2012

Welcome to the Preteen Life

WOW, It seems like just a few weeks ago we had a sweet little kindergartner running around wearing dress-up clothes and putting baby dolls to sleep on every pillow we owned. It is amazing to look at our precious little girl now with wonder as she walks the halls as a 7th grader. WOW!!!

Today was a big day for our family. Not only did we fork out thousands of dollars or promise to but that girl that made us both parents entered the halls of school with dental braces. WHAT????

Yes, folks our baby girl has needed braces for a long time and we and the dentist felt it was finally the right time to do it. I was really nervous for her. She was super excited and had been talking about getting them for a long while now. But the day has come and she now wears pink and blue braces with pride and maybe a little pain.

She was scared after one of her friends scared her to death saying they would hurt so bad. I tried to explain that parts of the wearing of braces can hurt but getting them put on is a breeze. I hate that she will have to wear them but thankfully she will not have to wear them but 2 years, unlike the 5 years her Momma had to wear them for. What a difference time and technology make after, cough, 20+ years.

If you see her or if you talk to her tell give her some positive encouragement as I know the newness will wear off and she will get frustrated and upset when they start to hurt or get in the way. Trust me, I actually got my shirt caught in my teeth during my cousins graduation dinner. It was super embarrassing and my family never let me live it down. Every boyfriend always got the story, sometimes exaggerated. Today I can laugh at it but then it was the most embarrassing time.

Here's what you've all been waiting for. The girl in all her glory. Congratulations Zero, we love you!!
Welcome to the Preteen Life.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Back to school

Today all my precious babies for on the school bus headed to school. So crazy that I now have not one but two middle schoolers. It's crazy. I'm so proud of each of them. It'll be interesting to hear each of their stories when they return home this afternoon. I'll miss them while at school but I know it's what is best for them. I do love these precious beings.
It's off to 7th grade, 6th grade, 4th grade and 1st grade for these youngsters. And continued bed rest for this pregnant Momma.

Friday, August 3, 2012

She's 12, I can't believe she's 12

Today 12 years ago, Zeus and I spent the majority of our day in a hospital room patiently waiting for Zero to make her arrival. She really was cozy in there and she had to literally be forced out with medication and a pushy Momma. At about 5pm she made her arrival. This special little girl made Zeus and I parents for the first time. She also made her daddy cry for the first time too. Our baby was perfect.

As we look at her today she still amazes me at how intelligent, clever, tough, determined, well-behaved, honest and caring she has become. Our baby is growing up. It's scary. It's sad. Neither one of us want her to grow up. We want to cuddle and snuggle her forever and we both know that is fading fast right before our eyes.

Zero, Momma and Daddy love you to the moon and back sweet girl. We are so proud of you. Remember to be who you are and trust God that he'll protect you. With all these tears we say thank you for your beautiful spirit. We look forward to many more memories we'll have with you.

With all our love
Momma & Daddy

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Our Baseball Family

Wow, its hard to believe that we just spent two full months on the baseball fields with all four kids. The most amazing part was seeing the growth they made over those two months. Each of the kids progressed in their own way. It was special to be there for their first hit, first strikeout, first throwdown, first time at a position, first time batting without a tee. Each of those moments was very special to me. Those are the times you get to talk about when they have children of their own. It was a wonderful season with these babies. I enjoyed every minute of it even when it was above 90 degrees and I got sunburned. Coaching these kids and all their teammates is so fulfilling that I know we will try to continue as long as we can. Its wonderful. Here a few amazing moments from the past two months of baseball with the 9-12 kid Pitch Cobras, and the 5-6 T-ball Rangers.

Monday, May 21, 2012

My kids begged

Now that I have two tweens the big reading rage has struck them like love sick puppies. OK, maybe not love sick but reading is one of their loves. So after my father in law read the Suzanne Collins book, Hunger Games, my middle schooler jumped when he left the book. She read it fast and then she insisted to read the other two books in the series. Then her little brother read the first book in the series followed by Zeus reading the series. I refused just as the premise sounded revolting to me.

So when the movie opened I did promise Zero we would take her to see it, but I was not thrilled about it. I had been able to put her off for several weeks until she found out that it was coming to the base theater. Then I had no excuse. So off we went, Zeus, me and all 4 munchkins.

I was irritated before the 20 minute point. Seriously, kids killing kids for fun. Kids killing kids for a show. Kids killing kids to bring in numbers. Are you kidding me? Disgusting. What made it worse was the fact that those kids had to face obstacles that the government deemed good for the show. Disturbing. Oh she's going the wrong way lets start a forest fire to make her go back. Angering.
I was so frustrating, angry and disappointed by this concept after we left. WOW, This blows my mind and definitely has me questioning really what our kids are reading. Its a far cry from Harry Potter. Its a nothing like classic stories we read in middle school.

I will not be reading the series nor will I be watching any future movies. I am ashamed this series is so big with young people. Ewwww.

For me I'm outraged with the whole idea. Purely an idea so hateful it not worth anymore of my time.

Friday, May 11, 2012


Today someone asked me something interesting, they asked who would you be if you did not have your children? Wow, that was tough. I was not really sure what to say, because frankly I have never really taken the time to think about that thought. From a very young age I wanted children. I wanted to raise them to be productive citizens. However, I never thought about if I couldn't have children what or where would I be. Man, that's a tough question. That's hard to think about because that really is the past. But the general idea that I take from it is who are you? Who am I? What am I? Ummm, now that's a tough one to swallow for sure. I asked Zeus that question tonight, Do my kids define me? He just said I am a failure without my kids. Yeah, he's sarcastic but it actually hit me like a bullet. Am I really a failure without children? I sure hope not. I think I am on the right path that God lead me down. However, I'll never know what I'm suppose to be without children because I have 4 beautiful children that need a Mommy and I have been entrusted with that amazing job and title.  I'd imagine many people think these same thoughts but to intentionally think those thoughts is not fun or easy that's for sure. Mere minutes after tears welled up in my eyes from Zeus' snide comment I decided I need to pick up a book A sent me a few days ago. I just needed a reason to pick it up and this person's questioning today gave me that reason. I sat down in my fluffy, OK not so fluffy, rocking recliner, you know the one I rocked all 4 babies in and untied the gold ribbon and read the foreword, introduction and acknowledgments. I was hooked or maybe just curious, whatever the case, I turned it to today's date, May 8. Well would you lookie there, Today's meditation is about  Loving Yourself. Seriously, God, I'm listening. No really, I'm listening. Don't you find it amazing the words that are placed before us just when we need them. It just boggles me how this happens, and lately how frequently it's been happening. Whatever the reason today's meditation starts off, No matter what, love yourself.  It continues and to share other ideas and then the last line says No matter if you aren't certain where you're going or if there's anyplace left to go, love yourself.  Unbelievable.

So tonight I sit here thinking about the words set before me. I wonder who I am and what I will continue to be throughout the rest of my life. I wonder if I can touch one person or many people? I wonder if I will make a name for myself and not just four peoples Mommy and some strange, sarcastic guys wife. What I do know is that I am me, and I do what's best for my family and what makes me happy. I will wonder about all the unknowns but not worry. Wondering is good but knowing what's right here in front of me is better. Blessings to all of you that you do not define yourself based on your things, your car, your house, your family or lack of any of these. You make you and with God's help and giving him the keys,  your path will be written.


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Line Drive

So Zeus and I are coaching 2 baseball teams this year. We have a 5/6 T-ball team for Ziggy, and then a kid pitch team for Zero, Omega and Zulu. It is lots of fun and there are many surprises along the way too. Some not so fun. Like Saturday for instance. We had practice Saturday morning while it was well over 90 out. Zeus thought we should split the older kids into three groups and coach different stations at the same time. Not a problem. Or so I thought. I decided I wanted to coach the batting. Each kid was going to get to hit about 7 pitches. We had two new children on the team and neither of them had ever played baseball before. So I thought it would take a little while for them to make contact with a ball having never done it before. Boy was I wrong. The oldest one batted first. I lined up all the balls, walked out several paces from the plate and threw the first pitch. Low and behold he hit it. I was thrilled and terrified all at the same time. He hit that ball straight at me. I did not have a glove on because it was being used as the plate. So I had nothing to protect me from the blazing ball heading my direction. They really was not much reaction time either, remember I said blazing. Yeah, that ball was moving and fast. It decided it would go right through me. My leg just got in the way. Everyone in the stands that saw it all said the same thing OHHHHHHHHHHHHH, in synchro all at the same time. It must of looked extremely bad. It burned like a son of a gun at that one. I laughed it off and told the little boy if he hit me again he was running the bases. He apologized repeatedly. But after 3 days this is what my leg looks like today.

Yep, its been a bit on the painful side the last few days. I guess I learned, no matter how many years or lack of years a child has played in sports they may turn up to be superstars from day one and let you have it.
The things we do for the kids we love.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Shout Out, L's home!!!

I just wanted to post a shout out to my Mom's dear friend in the DFW area. Her friend, L, has spent the last several months in Northern Afghanistan in terrible conditions. She has arrived home safely to her family without physical injury. We are so blessed that she is finally home and able to relax with her precious family. Blessings L, and we are so grateful to you and K for your service to this great nation. Blessings to you on your reintegration. Prayers for the continued service of the thousands of citizens still in harms way and those scheduled to head that direction.


Tuesday, April 10, 2012

My Reality

Yesterday my Grandmother was hospitalized for an illness she has developed. Yesterday we also started our return trip home. I was less than thrilled to hear my Meemaw had been admitted into a hospital. But, the reality is that all five of my grandparents are getting old, and with age comes illness followed by that awful word, Death. We all try to ignore it but today my husband shared his insight with me and it left me in tears.

My reality with my aging Meemaw is that she holds our family together. She also does not treat me any different than any of the other grand kids and she treats my children as the other Great-grand kids as well. The part that scares me more than anything is the fact that almost 4 years ago I discovered that I am actually not blood related to any of that side of the family. It kills me to know this. What scares me the most is the fact that when death occurs families change, they get greedy and deep feelings and thoughts come to the surface. My reality is when Meemaw and Peepaw do go to Heaven to be with the Lord how will the family really treat me, my husband and my children. Will I still be considered one of the grand kids, or will everyone throw it in my face that I am not part of them? Legally I am a Courtney. I was born a Courtney and by the State of Texas I am a Courtney. My birth certificate says I am a Courtney. But a paternity test says no, that's not the case. Will the family I grew up with, learned with, and loved on continue to see me as a Courtney? That is a huge question that honestly we won't know until that day comes. But it scares me to smithereens. Especially when we will all be heart broken when it appears.
How does one prepare for such a negative, hurtful situation? Is it normal to feel this way? I understand this can't possibly be a NORMAL situation that too many people deal with on a regular basis. This is mighty odd. But for me, it is my life. I can not do anything about it. I can not go back and change the decisions my parents choose to make. I get to live with those consequences. Is it fair? I sure don't think so. Is it right? I don't think that either. But there is nothing I can do about it. I just put one foot in front of the other and ask God to guide me every step of the way.

But I also like to prepare and plan for things, like most people buy car and health insurance, go to college, put money away for retirement. They are planning and preparing for accidents, health problems, putting money away for their retirement. I like to prepare my mental state or steady my emotions for many different situations. That's why I am trying to work this out before any deaths occur. If I can prepare myself for the possible outcomes I am more likely to control and contain my emotions and avoid anymore major upsets that seem to follow me throughout my life.

My brain and body must be prepared for future situations.

Zeus is right. I have to accept whatever happens within the family. I most likely will not like what happens but preparing myself will soften the blow sure to come my way.

I'll pray that God will remind each of my family members that family is not always about blood or the biological aspect behind a family. It is what is within the heart. I'll pray that they continue to accept me as who I am and not what some test shows or proves.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Spring BBQing

I'm not sure whether Spring or Summer has arrived here in STL. The last 3 weeks have been over 80 degrees. Yeah, I know, so strange. But hey, I'll take it.

With the warm weather brings my love of cooking outside. A few weeks ago we went to a co-workers impromptu dinner. They had a yummy dessert that I thought I would try.

I was late coming home after a much needed kid shoe shopping trip. The kids are going through shoes like a baby goes through diapers. I'm not kidding. It's crazy. But anyway I had a coupon for 20% off so I took advantage and took all 4 babies for shoes. Ziggy recognized 2 shoes sharing the names of 2 of our children, quite unique and funny, if you ask me. 

Since we were late Zeus started the chops on the grill. I wanted to try the new dessert. OF course, everyone was skeptical but it didn't last long.

Fresh Pineapple sliced and skin removed. Then you sprinkle cinnamon on top, don't skimp on the cinnamon. Then grill flipping about 3-5 minutes in.  The finished product is super scrumptious and very healthy for a summer or spring, in this case, dessert.

So if you want to try something fresh and new these are wonderful and a nice close to a beautiful day.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

School Bus riding

This morning I have an idea or a thought. Have you noticed all the new laws surrounding driving vehicles lately. No cell phones, some states passing no eating and other working on no smoking, and of course not drinking and driving. All of these laws are for the safety of all drivers, right?

So why are we still letting or should I say expecting bus drivers to drive their bus and control the behavior of all the children on the bus. Doesn't this qualify as distracted driving? Isn't this a safety violation? Well I sure do think so. This morning on the Today show there were 3 stories, some local about bus accidents with injuries and deaths of young children. Does that shock you? It shouldn't. It does not shock me. Its actually expected. You ask me why? Let me tell you.

I have 4 children myself, its not 20 or even 40, but in my vehicle my children can get rowdy while I am driving. Thankfully they all have car seats and seat belts to confine them to their own space and to minimize distractions and the all time reason, safety. But if my 4 get rowdy then what makes us think 20 or 40 students together without seat belts to confine them are not going to get rowdy,  stay in their own seats and behave while the bus is operating. Exactly, they are not. Why do we expect or even let a bus leave a depot with simply a driver on board? This confuses me. We should not let this happen. How difficult would it be to have a bus monitor? A capable adult that can isolate, control and ensure the behavior of all the students on board? It's not. It could be a very simple job.

To me, it seems logical that we would want our bus drivers keeping their eyes on the road and not disciplining children or turned around talking to or scolding them. The bus driver needs to keep his or her eyes on the road at all times.

I wonder why we make all these laws for safety and leave out the most precious beings of all. This seems backwards.

I think we should call, write and make ourselves heard that we want change with the bus system in America. Bus drivers can not be held accountable for both safe driving and child behavior. They are hired to be a safe driver so we need to equip them with all we can to keep our children and their passengers safe. A bus monitor is a simple solution. Video cameras require the bus driver to take his or her eyes off the road just like mirrors. Lets work together to protect our children, help our bus drivers and eradicate these horrible, avoidable accidents.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Congratulations to my Zeus

This has been a very eventful, busy and amazing week. Zeus was promoted to 1st Lt. on Friday amongst a very chaotic day with many more lows than highs. I pushed through all the irritation and frustration as the 6 people scheduled to be at the ceremony were not present. I was more bothered by Zeus being upset about it. Nevertheless the show goes on, and it did.

Zeus was promoted just the way we had hoped. The children loved pinning him and I was pleased at all the friends and co-workers that made it special for all of us.

It turned out to be a great day. It turned out to be a special moment for our family.

I'm so very proud of my Zeus and I'm so very glad he was able to be home for the promotion and not on the road at some other duty location.

The best part was Zeus surprising me with our own little Valentine, Birthday, Promotion plane ride. Yesterday we took an early morning flight around St. Louis in a 4-seater with Zeus at the helm.

It was a lot of fun to be in the air together and seeing him smile ear to ear. Great idea, Babe.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Valentines Slump

So yes, Valentines is usually a fun holiday that we all want to spend with the one we love the mostest. I used to love Valentines Day when I was a teen. I always loved getting sweet precious gifts from the one that loved me. But today, seeing as to how I will be without my love AGAIN I am not super excited about this self proclaimed day of love. I can count on one hand how many Valentines Day's my husband has spent with me. Yes, We have been married 12 years so spending less than 5 together is pretty sad, don't you think. I guess that is just another sacrifice I make and my husband make for our great love of this nation. Do I like it, heck no. I despise everyday my husband has to be away from my family and quite frankly the past 7 years my husband has racked up HUGE numbers in the away from family time. Not something to be very proud of, if you ask me. I mean, we get married to share our lives with someone, not spend it apart. And we sure as heck do not have many children so that I could do everything myelf. Absolutely the furthest thing from my mind.

Anyways, I plan to make the day special for the children with or without their Dad. We shall a great day with or without presents from anyone else. I plan to make a special breakfast before school and then to do a fun dinner with the kids.

We will make the best of our day no matter how far away all of our family is, no matter how far Zeus is, no matter if there is 4 plus inches of snow on the ground, no matter if it is freezing outside. We will have a great day.

Happy Valentines Day to all the mIlitary spouses and family celebrating this holiday alone. We love you.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

A Love of Mine

I have a few loves, how about you?

Making Diaper cakes for all the babies is one of my favorite things to do.

Its amazingly fun to see it all come together. I just love looking at them.

I'd decorate my house with them if I could talk Zeus into it, no such luck yet!

So here's the latest one, for a precious little girl who's room is Butterflies.

It sure makes me smile and warms my heart when I hear a momma so excited to get one of these treasures, especially the Mommy's that never received one before.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Zeus asks, Twinkle delivers.

Zeus is pretty quiet, which is no different than when I met him. So when he offers up advice or suggestions I do not mind listening. Some times I ignore the request because it might require much more of my time or energy, and we can't have that now can we.

Over the holidays Zeus asked me to change my hair. He actually asked if I would go blonde, yeah I almost choked to death. Are you kidding? No, he was serious. He said he never dated a blonde. Ummm, no since I'm the only one he's dated I guess that was an easy answer. I couldn't believe he was serious. I continued to listen. He asked if I would cut my hair too, short, really, really short. Are you kidding, I love my curls.

But he did have a point. My hair had gotten to be so long that it recently was getting caught in the car door. It was getting caught when I put my coat on, it was even getting pulled when I put my purse on my shoulder. I love it. Its beautiful. But one event takes the cake and well, however embarrassing it may be was the thing that made me finally decide to control this out of control head of hair.

So here's the story, one night I went to bed to play on my Ipad while Zeus worked in the office for a bit. I laid down and turned off the light and put my head on the pillow, too tied to do anything else. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something moving on the pillow. My first reaction was just what you would think if a girl or in my case a woman saw a mouse. Yea, I screamed and ran as fast as I could down the hall to the office, startling the sleeping babies the whole way. I told Zeus I saw a mouse on my pillow. So he comes in and says there is nothing. I was a nervous wreck and replayed the whole thing through my head. After a couple minutes, I realized that it was indeed my own hair that I saw move, that I thought was a mouse. Nope, no mouse, Just my massive amount of hair. At that very moment I told myself I needed to make a change. I can not continue running like a crazy woman from my own hair.

So in an effort to surprise Zeus I made a change. While he was gone this last week I got a crazy hair and walked into a salon. Then I walked out a completely new color, with highlights and 14 1/2 inches shorter. Just not blonde.

  Now that the newness has worn off, here it is with me doing it. I like it curly and its natural so I do not see the need to fight it.
I think Zeus likes it. I can be that new woman for the 2 weeks he's home. Zeus asked so I delivered

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Officially an Ice skater!!!

Dreams do come true. Tonight I lived out a dream by performing in my first skating competition with a local Synchro team. I'm hooked. We had so much fun. All our hard work paid off.
We won 1st place. So fun. We have at least 4 more competitions to look forward to over the next 2 months. So glad I never let nay sayers tell me I was too old to become a skater. Follow your dreams no matter what the obstacles in front of you are. I achieved something tonight I have dreamed of for over 20 years

Friday, January 13, 2012

Old Man Winter

Oh my goodness is it cold here. Yesterday our high was 20 degrees and that was about 5 pm for 20 minutes, the rest of the day it stayed in the teens with serious winds bringing the windchill down to 4 degrees. Then throw in a nasty snow, ice and lazy road crews and you have what I call a disaster. The funny part is that we really did not get too much snow. I think we had about 3 inches at our house by bedtime, which is not much to write home about. I've seen worse, much worse. However with the lack of preparedness of road crews the roads turned to skating rinks quickly and then accidents were piling up on every roadway. We had hundreds of accidents in the area. It was downright dangerous. If that wasn't bad enough the schools decided to have the kids come in on time. That is absurd. Those buses were not doing well on the ice but thankfully none of the kids were injured to or from school in almost white out conditions.

In all of it though I had a little amusement. Because of the wind and blowing snow this little fella decided to find protection underneath my park bench on my front porch. He and his partner stayed and visited me for a few hours. However they did not stay still very long so I did not get a picture of both of them together.

Old man winter is back today with our high of 23 degrees. I do not think I would complain so much if it was not 53 degrees the day before this rolled in. This is so silly. I just wish Zeus were here with me so we could cuddle up and watch a movie together or hang out. But, the Air Force comes first in our lives so he must travel days, upon days. TDY is now a common word. Oh well, back to snuggling under my blanket and preparing for tomorrow's Ice Skating competition.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Reading Once Again

After taking many years off from reading so that I could mother my children and go back to college I have finally picked up a couple books. Since the New year began I have now finished two books. I am a reader of true life stories, the ones where people overcome great obstacles. I feel these books give me the opportunity to learn something and take something away from the book. I do not read because it is enjoyable, Thanks to High school AP English. I read for knowledge or lessons, I guess.

The first book I was really excited to read and had it on the self for months. It was a book sent to me from a dear friend all the way from Ithaca, NY. The book was a terribly painful story of a husband and wife and the loss of the wife just 27 hours after the birth of their first child. I was interested in this book as the Husband/Father is a fellow blogger I have followed for a few years. I was anxious to read his feelings and how he managed to navigate life after such a tragedy. Matt Logelin, Two kisses for Maddy was an awesome book. I finished it on New Years day, another reason I was very teary that day.

My second book was also a tragic story with an amazing ending. The story strengthened my faith in the Lord and assured me that Heaven is waiting for my arrival. The Bible tells us what to do and how to get to Heaven but showed little proof of such a place. I have been a Christian since as far back as I can remember. This book written by a loving Father shares his amazing love of his son and the journey his once dieing son took to Heaven when battling appendicitis. It is gut wrenching and amazing all in one cover. Heaven is for Real, written by Todd Burpo about his son Colton's 3 minute journey to Heaven is breathtaking and calming. This story was perfect to restore my weary spirit as my family begins our many days with a long distance husband and Daddy.

Colton allowed me to feel calm and understand the true power of a simple prayer to God. I have never witnessed such a miracle but this story opened my eyes as wide as they have ever been.

Today, I look forward to completing more and more books about life lessons during the coming days. I am thankful to people writing their life stories so people like me get a chance to learn something new or gain a little strength from the inspiration shared through these wonderful stories. Thank you Matt and Todd.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year 2012, Isn't sounding very good

Happy New Year, so they say. I'm not in such a happy mood today as I look forward to the coming months I'm more sad than anything. 2012 has many nasty things in store for us.

It was awesome to have my parents here for the holidays. My children will remember that for many years, if not their lifetime. Christmas was special having Grammy and Grampy here. But today brings the New year and Grammy and Grampy had to go back home. Today also brings taking down the Christmas decorations as we prepare for Zeus to depart at the end of the week.

This year will not be fun as Zeus will be gone multiple times for a total of about 9 months time or more, Thank you Air Force.  I am really anxious and somewhat sad knowing that all the kids birthdays, my birthday, Zeus's birthday, Valentines day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year will all be spent Zeusless. This makes me very sad.

He has a heavy travel schedule that entails him leaving the first few months of the year for two week intervals. This is the worst. Then he'll come home for a bit (a couple weeks) before taking that dreaded (LONG) tour overseas fighting for America and all the rights afforded to each of us.

So this new year makes me sad. I dread walking through each of these many months and weeks alone as a single parent and whats worse is my family and inlaws are many hundreds of miles away. With the kids in school I will have to stay out here with little to no travel back home for help or relief or even companionship. I must go it alone. The worst thing about TDY's and deployments is the dread of departure. Guess I better start looking for a reliable babysitter as well, with skating competitions quickly approaching. UGGGGGGGG.

Today I am sad.
Today I am scared.
Today I want 2013 to be here already.
Today I want this nightmare to go away.

Pray for me, Pray for my family, Pray for patience, safety and pray that I can find and build a support system fast. Pray that all the tears will run dry and that God will guide me step by step through this overgrown jungle of loneliness. Pray God gives me the words to comfort my four precious babies through their emotional roller coaster as well.

This New year is not a happy one for me. I guess this is just a pity post filled with my emotions as all the leaving begins and will continue through the last day of the year. YUCK!!!! Anyone want to trade?

I hope all of you have a Fantastic 2012 with many new blessings and wonderful events to look forward too.

Thanks for listening, errrr I mean, I guess reading. Being able to blog helps me deal with all the swirling emotions dive bombing me this new year.

Blessings to all and may God Bless Our Troops and bring them all home safe including my Zeus.