Sunday, March 20, 2011

In the Army now

Today, now that I am home and can process the last 4 days I am feeling better. The last few days were spent in Lawton, Oklahoma for my little brothers Army Basic training graduation. I was really looking forward to it. I have felt guilty for many years since I was in Air Force training when he walked across the stage for high school graduation. I managed to make it to his wedding a few years ago so I had it in my head nothing was going to stop me from being there this time. Many people do not understand the love in my heart for my brother. Because of the way we grew up, him and I became bonded. Most will never understand this relationship and I'm not going to try to explain it. He is one of the most important people in my life. My brother, J, means as much to me as my husband and my children. So being there to show him my love and support was my top priority.

We were able to see him march in his ACU's during the family day events chronicling the time he spent at basic. I was right there snapping photos of him.

We followed them, his battalion back to their dorms and waited while they all went up and changed their clothes in their Class B's. After they came down and formed up waiting to be released they spoke, OK maybe yelled, the soldiers creed. The second he said those words " I am a Soldier", the tears were flowing in my eyes. Here I sit as the flow some more. I was proud of him. I was so glad he had made this life changing decision. I was filled with love, joy and extreme happiness to see my bratty, mean and annoying "little" brother out there who had become a man. He stood tall. He was poised. He was confident. He had become an American Soldier and he had become my American Soldier.

Having been in the military and married to an Airman, I had a clue and deep understanding of what he was going to go through during training. I knew just how deep within himself he had to dig to find the strength to get through that very next moment. I knew how badly he had missed the real world and his family. I knew the obstacles, yelling, feeling of walking on eggshells as to avoid being "smoked" or "reamed".

I was so very proud of him and this amazing accomplishment. This is a huge deal for my brother. A great achievement most people did not think he was capable of. I knew he had it in him from the day I walked across the field. He started questioning me and my decision. I knew then he was curious. I knew he could and would do it someday. He has proven all the nay-sayers wrong.

I will never be able to put into words the pride, joy, love and happiness in my heart and soul for this incredible man. For 18 years, it was he and I against the world. For a while and somewhat today I viewed him as my first child. I am protective of him like a Momma bear. I feel all those things most mothers feel for their sons, except that he is my brother. The reasons why shall remain private amongst him and I and our family. Just know that this boy really relied on me and I really took care of him, protected him and loved him through all the adversity. After I was married and moved away he started growing distance as his life decisions were not in line with mine. However as he got older, wiser, smarter and calmer he began to mimic my life and I knew I had not lost him. I knew he still needed me just like I still needed him.

NO, I am not his wife. NO, I am not his mother. But, I am his OLDER, BIGGER Sister and I will always cherish every moment and emotion with him. And I hope he does with me too. I am his biggest supporter!!
I love you little brother and I am more proud of you than anyone will ever know.
My brother is in the Army now!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

10 years later it finally happened

Most of you know that I have been a mom for 10 years now but some may not so now you know. HAHAHA

A couple weeks ago Zulu and Zeus were outside playing football. Ziggy noticed so he wanted to play too. Zeus' first throw to Ziggy ends in injury. Ziggy is screaming. Zeus doesn't think much of it. Twinkle works hard to figure out if he is OK or needs to see the Dr. Thankfully we have a pediatrician and her flight Dr. husband who live across the street from us so a quick text message to them and she came over a bit later to look at his hand. It was not a terrible injury just a strain. Good, I do not need injuries. So fast forward to yesterday. All 3 big kids at school and Zeus at work, just Twinkle and Ziggy here at the house. Twinkle had Loads and Loads of homework so I sat in front of the computer for upwards of 14 hours. While I did homework Ziggy played and moved from room to room doing different activities. While he was in the play room that was down the hall from the den I heard a loud, blood curdling scream. He came running yelling I re-injured my finger, I re-injured my finger. Great, is all I was thinking. I looked at his finger and it was way swollen, turning darker purple by the minute. I was frustrated. I called the Dr. on base and they surprisingly did not have any appt.s for the day. Yep, just my luck. She asks me some questions and then proceeds to tell me this is a serious injury and we need to proceed directly to the ER. It just gets better by the minute around here. Luckily Zeus was about to leave work for the day so I phoned him and asked in my sweetest, most loving of voices if he would mind taking Ziggy up to the ER since I still had a whole other math assignment to start and finish by midnight. He was nice and smart and decided it was best he take Ziggy in. Zeus is such a loving husband he texted me throughout the visit keeping me up to date on each event as it occurred, and for that I am grateful. X-rays were needed to rule out a break. Which lucky for me he just happened to have that very first break I was telling you about. Yep, we are now the parents of a child with a broken bone. Lucky for me it took 10 years for that to happen. Now we are off to Children's hospital on Monday to see the Ortho to determine if the finger needs surgery, cast or some other medical treatment. It is splinted now but man, this little boy is having a hard time with it. He brushes it and screams. The pain meds are helping but with an active child with this much energy we are bound to have other issues. So tonight while he was sleeping he woke up screaming again. OH boy, Lord just give me the strength and patience. I love this little guy and I despise seeing him in this kind of pain. He never really woke completely up. twinkle just scooped him up and cuddled him while unwrapping the splint to re wrap it a little bit looser.

These days almost nothing surprises me. This baby along with his older siblings have had so many medical issues that I just about could become a nurse by experience alone. Just kidding, but you know what I mean here. Its absurd. But here we are in the middle of hockey season and Ziggy has been sidelined by the first "official" Haskins broken bone.

Happy Broken Bone Day Everyone

Haskins House Injured

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Empty plate? Never

I just have to laugh when I read the title, because it fits this post to a T. I am the kind of person that loves to have things to do. Fun things. When I look back at my grade school years, I remember being over scheduled as far back as my memory goes. I worked hard to do everything I could fit in. I loved being a part of so many different groups and activities.

So when I look at myself today, I am not surprised by what I see. I am a mother. But I did not stop at one. No, I had to fill my plate so I had 4. Yep, it was spilling over at that point. Same goes with my relationships. I couldn't stop at being a friend to one person, I needed to make sure I was spilling over with friends. Not to mention the activities. Sure I decided to go to college this past summer, but why not through in there, a family move, kids sports, team parent, Coach of Zeus' unit volleyball team, Ice skating student, unit key spouse (unit go to person for help and information). Today just like every other day of my life has a full plate.

I love it and I think I manage it all very well because when I start something I am going to throw everything I got at it. 100% effort goes into everything I do. The best part is I am touching others lives and sharing my love of life and helpfulness. I'm not a bible pusher but I believe in the Lord and his word. I try to pass that along in other ways to many other people in all walks of life. One big reason I love to do so many different things.

So tonight I go to bed with a plate that is dripping all over the floor and a smile on my face that the opportunities continue to arrive. My plate is never empty.
Blessings to you and yours.
Happy Haskins House.