Friday, January 21, 2011

Lost Dog

Oh puppy!

On Sunday my daughter was a sweet girl and let the dogs out to go potty. A few minutes later she let Momma dog in but Puppy dog was not ready yet. We were really busy organizing rooms, closets and hanging pictures and shelves so she forgot about the puppy. A little while later we were in the boys room and the puppy was not in there with all 6 of us. She is always with someone. So I asked if someone had let her out. Zero immediately fessed up and ran to the back door. No puppy. She was not in the back yard. So she got her warm stuff on and walked around the street and open areas outside. Puppy was nowhere to be found. I was so upset. Zeus and I stopped what we were doing and developed a plan. I called the 2 neighbors that I know and asked if they had seen her and nope, nobody had seen her. So I drove around calling her name and did not find her. I was angry. I tried not to take it out on anyone but darn it my new puppy, which I got for my birthday was GONE.

She had not been to the vet on base yet, long story, so she did not yet have her microchip. I was sad. We have only been here 10 days so she is not real comfortable with the area either. Anyways we walked door to door asking everyone to keep an eye out. We called the Security Forces putting a notice that we lost a dog.

Zeus was very supportive and went out in the cold and begin staking in the Garden fencing we purchased to keep her in the yard since she is small enough to slide her way underneath the fence in multiple areas. He spent a couple hours pounding in the fencing until the entire yard was complete. It was great.

Then he came in and made a few signs for me to go post on mailboxes and housing entrances. I knew in my heart that someone had taken her. I was very sad. So after several hours of no puppy I went to post all my signs in hopes that someone would return her before the coyotes came out. We live in the middle of corn fields and farms, there are Owls, Hawks and Coyotes, all of which would love a little puppy. So off I go in the freezing cold temperatures. I get to the first mailbox to post the sign and this lady gets out of her car in her driveway and explains that she was house sitting a neighbors house. She asks If I was missing a puppy and I said sadly yes. She said that she had found her early that morning and had picked her up. She spent the day with my puppy. She had even renamed her "Lily". I was heartbroken when she said they were hoping to keep her since she is the most precious pup. I was thrown because I did not know whether to thank her or yell at her. Anyways, she handed over MY puppy. I was thrilled. I couldn't put her down for hours. She was a hip puppy the rest of the day. I was not letting her out of my sight.

I am so thankful for the two neighbors that were willing to walk the neighborhood looking for her with us. They were so sweet. She has since been to the vet, got her chip and can not get out of the yard. We might have to watch real closely though.

Happy ending, I have my puppy back!!!!

Happy Haskins House!!!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

How do you let it go?

Today as I was folding clothes in my quiet house while my puppies and child were sleeping I got to thinking. There is a person who shall remain nameless in my past that I just can not get out of my head. So here's the deal, I know God and for some reason I think he is trying to tell me something. Yet I can not put my finger on it. So I thought if I wrote this down and stopped keeping it in my head that maybe something will come of it. If not, oh well, at least it is no longer locked up.

A while ago, like a year and a half ago I had this friend. She was by all means my best friend. When I first met her, I thought she was quite rude. Its funny really. Over the course of meeting and getting to know each other she grew on me. We hung out all the time. We ate dinner together. She spent lots of time with my family. She went places with me. She leaned on me with issues and questions as I did with her. I helped her with her child. We called to check on each other almost daily. Most people knew we were buddies. We went most places together and I really liked it. She was different from my other friends and that is what made her so special to me. However I went through a rough patch, even opened up to some really negative things to her and in that instant she was gone. I trusted her and I opened up my vulnerability and insecurities to her and the second I did, it was over. Strange. Still to this day I think about her, her family and her silly husband and dogs. I miss having her around. I miss her hilarious laugh. I miss her husband picking on me. I miss his love of my dog. I miss her precious child. I do not know today what went wrong. I can not believe it was over that fast. I am hurt. I am sad. I have not learned how to dump this past in the garbage yet. For some odd reason I don't want to. I felt I had a relationship with her that couldn't be touched you know, kinda like the Titanic that would never sink. So I have some questions to ask you?

Have you ever had a friendship that went south and not had the chance to clear it up? or say goodbye?
Have you ever had a friend wash their hands of you and walk away without a blink of an eye?

I have been burned before by friends and even by boyfriends but I never let it stop me and it never stayed so fresh in my mind. I mean I did not seem to let if affect me like this. Its weird. I can still smell her house when I think about it. Maybe because I only went in it 2 times. Odd, oh yea. I have to shake my head sometimes just to check and make sure I'm still in reality. I know she's gone on and made new friends and became best buds with a mutual friend but I don't know.

Something that bothers me is that she still interacts with my husband online. Not as often as she had in the past but I know she is still facebook friends with him. Honestly If you didn't want to be a part of someones life wouldn't you choose to separate yourself from the entire family. I mean, I don't know I have never had this issue before. Help me out here. So I guess inside, my gut, I feel she didn't want to walk away, something still has her holding on if only by the string of my husband, she didn't completely let go.

If you have dealt with something like this before what do you suggest I do to let her go? contact her? apologize? If I were to apologize what would be the basis? Is writing a letter worth it?

From your experience how do you move on and get those smells, feelings and images out of your head? Or do I want to?
Should I do something about it? I live hundreds of miles away now and have moved 2 times but I can't forget her and I'm not sure I want to. I guess I'm just in need of closure of some sorts.

Do I sound crazy? If so its OK to let me know. I'm just in need of some outside views. I have asked other friends and family and I know what they think, most of them knew her that's why I thought I'd start here on my blog.

I love people. I love having lots of friends and being a part of lots of groups. I love having LOTS of people around and in my home. Losing this person made me feel like I lost a sibling.

Thanks for listening to me ramble.
Hello, from cold, cold Illinois!!!
Haskins House

Saturday, January 8, 2011

30 Days later.....

It all started 30 days ago when the movers showed up to pack up our house in Biloxi, MS.



 We began our PCS, Permanent chang of station, from MS to IL.

We said goodbye to our house and friends

We drove 2 days to arrive in St. Louis just a few miles to our new home.

We signed to papers and left mere hours after arriving.

We traveled some more and enjoyed a few hotel stays and cringed at others.

We stopped and visited a dear family friend and celebrated 2 family birthdays

We drove through the snowy mountains

We arrived in Washington to celebrate the holidays with our family while we waited on our house to get move in ready

Zeus and I had a date to a play

Cousins met for the first time

We attended Christmas eve service

The kids rode Grandpa's horses

Grandpa took us to the Kangaroo farm in Washington

We celebrated our 11th Anniversary to Orcas Island to our first Bed and Breakfast

Then we drove through treachous roads over 8 states back east to move in

We dealt with minor issues along the way, like sand covered lights and dangling, loose taillight and mega amounts of ice and snow

We arrived in Illinois and signed for our house



And Now 30 days later we are over halfway done unpacking thanks to 5 new friends and co-workers for coming over and helping unpack and sort. What a blessing people are to us.

Kids are in school, internet is up, kitchen is put together, satellite is set up, phone is working, address is changed and we are officially residents of Illinois. We will love our new home.