Thursday, May 19, 2011

Big week

This week brings great things for our family. This week is the last week that my oldest will walk the halls of the elementary world. That's right you are reading that clearly. My oldest moves into MIDDLE school next year. Ummm, I'm flipping a bit. She is still so little, so cute, so young, so naive, my little girl and I don't want her to walk those bigger, longer and confusing hallways of middle school. This is tough. Brings back the memories of my middle school days. Most of those days were wondrous. I made amazing friends. I found a love of volleyball. I found my true competitiveness. I feel in love with Tweety. I grew up. I learned to love school. I hope she enjoys it as much as I did.

For me, I am 10 days from completing my very first college degree. It is huge for me. This has been a very difficult and highly emotional journey but I see the light and it is shining so brightly and given the drive not to just walk to it but to run as fast as I can to it. I'm almost there.

Looking forward to a great week as we begin to enter into summer. We head off to our first Midwest mini-vacation this weekend in Chicago. Looking forward to visiting the windy city and watching Zeus run through the miles of mud sprinkled with obstacles. I think he is crazy. He thinks it will be fun. I will be sure to post the MUDDY pictures.

Blessings to all of you,
Haskins House

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Long time "NO" see

I have a very dear friend that my husband worked with when we were stationed in Georgia, 2000- mid 2005. He was a single guy "Longhorn" who grew up in the same state as I. I had an instant bond to that. Anyways he became a good friend and started hanging around pretty often. NFL Sundays became our traditional Steak dinner night with baked potatoes. He always brought the hand cut steaks and I cooked everything.

Anyways he just returned from duty overseas. He needed to come through St. Louis to receive his vehicle that was shipped from Germany. Longhorn decided he would take some extra time and swing by and see all of us. I missed him. Something about his character that makes me view him as a brother.

So he drove in on Thursday and him and I drove to the Airport and then to the car pickup place. The kids got home while I was out so I had them go to my sweet neighbors house until I could get back. When we arrived you could not believe the smiles and excitement on my little ones faces. They were elated to see Longhorn again. He was immediately recruited to play football.

The kids loved having him here.

We took him out to dinner for his birthday at Omega's favorite place, Japanese hibachi. We played lots of fun games outside.

We went to a few parks on base while the big kids were in school on Friday.

Then he took us out to dinner Saturday night as a thank you for the visit.We watched Tron and he and Zulu napped with each other in my big comfy recliner. It was so stinking cute.

Sunday he helped the kids make breakfast for me since it was Mother's Day and let Zeus sleep in.Now, that's sweet.

All in all we had a fantastic weekend with our friend. The kids really do like him a lot. One of them however, has a very special bond with Longhorn, I'll let you guess which one!! Maybe next time he won't wait 5 years to come visit.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Brother's & Sisters

OH BOY, this morning while I was drinking my coffee trying to wake up I decided to watch a couple of my DVR'ed shows from the last few days. I have been watching Brother's and Sister's on ABC since it's birth. Today's show hit me like a ton of bricks. Actually it was really hard to watch without someone here with me over the age of 21, if you know what I mean.

I am a pretty emotional person to begin with before any shows. So if you haven't seen the show it is about a family a dead husband, wife and 5 kids. The kids are all grown adults and many of them parents themselves. The mom had an affair with her high school boyfriend and the oldest child ended up being the boyfriends and not the dead husbands. The show this week highlighted the DNA testing, daughter confronting the boyfriend and her reactions during her daily life as she planned her wedding.

So, many of you know my story from September 2008, if not here it is MY STORY . Recently I have been dealing with the emotional effects of losing friends, moving away from other friends, letting go of dreams and wishes, moving heartaches and all that junk.

As I watched the show this morning I identified with Sarah, the oldest daughter more than I have identified with someone in a long time. I felt the raw emotion that was flowing through her veins. I understood her loss of self. The tears in my eyes just starting flowing down my cheek as I watched how this shocking news. What's strange was here I was all alone again just like that night in September 2008. Except my kids are in school today instead of sleeping. I went back and reread my own story. Oh gracious, that was a bad idea. It brought everything back. The sadness, the anger, the heartbreak, the disappointment, the self-loathing "why me's" and tons and tons of tears.

Although it is several years later I'm not sure I have processed the feelings yet. I wonder if I will ever process those feelings. Today, I have gone numb. I want to love and be loved but I don't want to hurt anyone else. I am hurting. I am really not sure any of my family understands one ounce of the trauma and heartache that I am feeling. Brothers and Sisters opened the can again. It showed me that I am not OK with this situation. It showed me that there is still work to be done for me to begin to heal. It showed me that there are other people out their that quite possibly are walking through similar storms as me.

I never realized a television show could be as extremely emotional for people like ABC's Brothers and Sisters was for me today. I could go on and on but for now I must focus on my college research paper and preparing my house for a visit from a LONG TIME friend. Talking today is probably a terrible idea. I will try to avoid it at this point. Prayers are always welcomed as I continue to walk through this massive, life altering storm that does not seem to show signs of calm.

Haskins House Out

Monday, May 2, 2011


OK, So all the headlines are basically the same today, Osama Bin Laden is Dead. So how do we feel?

Then I start digging and reading all over the internet and I am reading way more negative reaction towards this news than I ever thought existed. People freaking out about all the jubilance and so called immaturity. But then I stop to digest it all for a minute and realize Wait a minute, less than 2% of you will ever don a uniform and pledge allegiance to the United States in a military position. No wonder there is so much negativity. They are clueless.

I am really sad that people feel like bashing our Armed Forces or the Commander In Chief today. I am really sad that people can not be happy we accomplished a major feat today. I am really sad people cannot celebrate without stupid comments. The lunatic has been hunted for far too long. There must be consequences for our actions and the wrongful actions of others. We can not maintain a peaceful world if we let everyone do it the way they want to do it. Could you image no speed limit, no stop signs, no street lights and no driver training? Just a free for all on the roads. Talk about a war zone. We would have so many dead people from accidents we would not have enough burial ground for all of them. So yes, you decide to be a jerk and kill 3000 people you must face the consequences. Sorry.

Today I am grateful and over joyed for those 3000+ families including all the Gold Star families as they can sleep tonight knowing that justice was served. That their family member did not die in vain. I also can be excited for the future of our wars as one of the biggest hurdles in completing these wars was successfully jumped yesterday. I am a military wife. I am a veteran. I am a military friend. I am a military sister. So today all of my friends are one step closer to coming home. Today all of my friends can be proud of their efforts. Today our country defeated a major enemy. I understand most of you do not know what it is to not know if your loved ones will walk through the front door or if that dreadful black vehicle will arrive at your house with news. But I say this, today is the day to celebrate our military. Today is the day to support our Intel officials. If we didn't stop him, who was going to?

Many people do not feel they were personally attacked so they do not feel that deep sense of loss or hurt that so many families have been dealing with the better part of 15+ years. Be happy for those families today.

We aim for prevention. You spray your house to prevent bugs. You mow your yard to prevent snakes. You wear a bike helmet to prevent head injury. You wear a seat belt to prevent major injury. Today we sprayed a bug, a big, ugly, hairy, intrusive, venom filled bug. Agree or disagree with me. That's your call. But today you have been given a gift from the "United States Military", what you chose to do with it is up to you. Until you don that uniform and walk into battle your opinion is just that, an opinion.

Today I stand with all those serving,  those who served, those who have given all and all the 9/11 survivors. You are amazing. Today I hope you run and jump with joy in the streets. Today I hope you smile from ear to ear. Today I hope you feel a little more relieved. Today is a GLORIOUS DAY in American history. Ignore all those people that have no clue what you feel or have endured.

To all my brothers and sisters still fighting the battle, keep up the good work. Persistence has proven itself today and you have an army of people loving and supporting your cause and your efforts. Go Forth young soldiers.


Haskins House Out!!