Monday, May 10, 2010

The Great Expectations

As a little girl I would sit in my room and dream about and draw all the details of my wedding. Silly, yeah probably a little, but from what I hear most little girls do the same thing. They also dream of what Christmas is going to bring and how their 10, 13, 16, 18 and 21st birthdays are going to turn out. They plan for the perfect prom dress and ride. So as they get older they continue to dream about how many children they want, what type of career they need and where they will go to college. But with all this dreaming what we are not told is the heartbreak that comes along with the reality of the actual event. Dreaming is good, Expectations are far worse. Having expectations is simply setting yourself up for failure, at least in my eyes it is.

So when all the hype happens about New Years Eve, 10th Anniversaries, birthdays and Mothers Day its best to think of it as just another day. Then when something good does happen it will make you smile. That way those little wishes, hopes, dreams and plans do not get shattered and totally ruin the day.

I have to tell myself this all the time. It is so terribly hard not to get excited because of all the media hype of these occasions but I promise if you do, the moment and day will be far superior than you could have ever dreamed.

Like this weekend, when I had pictured all week what Mothers Day could or would be like. I pictured what gifts I really wanted. I pictured the pretty flowers, and beautiful smiles, yummy breakfast and happiness all day. But I decided on Saturday I was just going to let it be and whatever happened fine. If you know my husband or follow me here on the blog or through twitter or facebook you know he can be somewhat of a unique character. Sometimes even a scary character at that, nevertheless he is ZEUS and that's all I can expect him to be. So he is very un traditional. Not one ounce of romance in his body or even simple sweetness. NOPE not my Zeus.

So back to Saturday, I had just given up the idea of having a "normal" Mother's Day. I figured I would go in with little to no expectations and chances were that the day would turn out pretty good.

I was glad I did.

Sunday Morning I was waken to a dancing Zulu swinging a cloth napkin over his head like a pole dancer singing "wake Up Mommy, its Mothers Day! Wake up Mommy its Mothers Day". Upon waking up I got a glimpse of all of my babies one by one carrying something different headed right for me. Homemade heart shaped pancakes, scrambled eggs, Coffee and my utensils of course. Then they all disappeared. Yep, I ate breakfast in bed all by myself. It was peaceful I must admit.

After gathering myself and crawling out of bed I hear a little choir in my kitchen and the sounds of little hands clapping singing "Come on Down Mommy, its Mothers Day!" What a sweet and beautiful sound that was. All my beauties waiting patiently for me. They were so excited to see me open my gift. It was like Christmas for them. Super cute.

I opened the vinyl tablecloth they used as wrapping paper and was surprised to see a 4 pot flower planter with names on each pot corresponding to each of my babies. Each pot was filled by that child. I received Homemade cards, Homemade pencil erasers and pencils, my favorite candy bar, my favorite candy, bath salts, body wash, wine, a magazine, 4 packets of seeds and the best part a coupon book.

Yes the coupon book was the most prized thing in my pot. It was made by my husband and babies. One coupon for each year for each baby. 9 for Zero, 8 for Omega, 6 for Zulu and 4 for Ziggy and 4 group coupons for the total number of babies. They were pictures of them when they were each 6 months old. I slowly flipped through the pages reading their promised favors and tasks, shedding a tear or two or lots more if I have to be honest here. It was so special. Each child had come up with tasks to help me with. Clean the kitchen table, do dishes, do 2 loads of laundry, sweep the floor and etc. The best ones were the group ones with no expiration date and unlimited number of uses, cuddle time, movie time, family game time and hugs and kisses. What better gift could a mother ask for other than the children themselves.

This was definitely not in my dream but far exceeded my hopes for gifts.

Then we played games and hung out as a family. Later that afternoon Zeus chose a new restaurant and took us for seafood. On our way home we stopped by the beach to do some exploring and of course to give me some time to take some beloved pictures of my family. While at the beach Zeus found a shell that just so happened to have a hermit crab in it. The kids named him and he has become the latest member of our family, Kermit the hermit!

All in all it was a great day. I am so glad I let the expectations go and rolled with the tide because I gained so much more from it.

Thanks to my beautiful and wonderful family for making it a great day! Even if Zeus did get sick and give up a little early.

Blessings and I hope each of you can manage to take a step back. Relax the Expectations and go with the flow. You will find so much more joy and happiness.

Haskins House

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Qualities....

Over the past several weeks I have been on my own personal facebook campaign.
 If you are one of my facebook friends you will have noticed simple words as my status for quite some time now.
Can anyone tell me what they think the purpose or meaning of those words are?

I bet you can come close but not exact so I'll share with you.

You see 47 days ago my husband left us again, Shocking, for another military TDY/ training. So for 7 weeks he has been hanging with the other LT's out at Maxwell. During that time I developed some serious emotional issues and stress issues with this new found long distance relationship. So I started thinking. I know, scary right, when I start doing that but sometimes I do think. This time I thought about marriage and what it means to me. How serious it is. How important it is. And what kept sticking its nose in the way were these simple little words. LOVE, HONESTY, INTERDEPENDENT, EMPATHY, FRIENDSHIP. I thought about these for days. So I just decided you know what, I'm gonna make those my facebook status until Zeus comes home. And that was that. 47 words later I had voiced and shared the most important qualities I felt every marriage needs to succeed.

Now these are just what I feel are important. They may not be what you think but definitely words that drive me.

COMPASSION PATIENCE COMMUNICATION ACCEPTANCE UNDERSTANDING
RESPECT FORGIVENESS SECURITY CONSIDERATE AFFECTION
PURE LOVE COMPANIONSHIP EMPATHY COMPROMISE FIDELITY
SUPPORT FRIENDSHIP APPRECIATION RESPONSIBILITY HONOR
DEVOTION COMMITMENT SACRIFICE COURAGEOUS LOYALTY


PARTNERSHIP GENUINE ENDURANCE ENCOURAGEMENT JOY
SUBMISSIVE TOLERANCE UNSELFISHNESS THOUGHTFULNESS HAPPINESS
ADMIRATION NURTURING TEAMWORK MUTUALITY
COMFORT REALISTIC EQUALITY KINDNESS
INTERDEPENDENT TREASURE OPTIMISM HONESTY

So look and read these, and pick up the dictionary if you have to because these will make or break you. I understand there are more than just these. I am learning the extreme significance everyday of these simple yet powerful little words. I hope you thought about them when they popped up on Facebook during the last month. I am trying everyday to improve upon these areas of my life and relationship. Maybe just maybe I can manage to keep him around a few more years. Until then, I just ponder the words and strive to do better. The rest just falls in place.

Blessings
Haskins House