Monday, July 26, 2010

My Runaway

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

Today was a day that I never wanted to see come. I experienced days like this as a child and never thought that as a mom I would see them come. A shock to me for sure.

I do my best to be the best mom and to make the best decisions for my babies. I really do. So today was really no different. I had decided to try a new method of consequences that had not been attempted in our family thus far.

Zulu was busted, by me, for whacking his older brother across the face and the side of the head with a toy. Omega was in major pain and really upset. I called Zulu down, after repairing and consoling the injured, and made him stand at attention. You military know what I'm talking about. You know, feet together, hands fisted, thumbs touching the thigh, shoulders straight, head straight, still and quiet. Yeah, that attention. While I calmly discussed what had just happened. I demanded, very politely, that he answer with a yes ma'am or no ma'am. He did as I requested but as I was talking to him I could see the anger building in his face and eyes. He started clinching those teeth and glaring the evil eye and turning red all at the same time. I amazingly, remained calm and collective, which is rare for me. I had this extreme feeling of peace. When I started asking deeper questions to Zulu about the situation, the consequences and what would happen if this were to occur to another person or at other places he just went off. It was like a freaking bomb. BOOM!!! Zulu was crying and had this deep, deep voice I had never heard before. I was a little frightened but he remained at attention and this gave me hope. He said I was mean. I was the meanest mom in the world. He said that he did not like me any more. He said that he just wanted to runaway.

Of course, my stomach jumped into my throat. I couldn't believe what I was witnessing. I never thought it would happen. I gathered myself with tears running down my cheeks and calmly and quietly mentioned to him the things I do and provide for him. I asked if anyone else would do that and he said no. That got him to thinking. I told him how much I missed him while he was away and that I would miss him even more not knowing where he was or if he was OK. We were both crying by this time, but he was still at attention. I told him how much I loved him and how God had given him to me to raise and teach life's miserable lessons. I shared with him that I was responsible for preparing him for life as an adult. He continued to stream the tears. He was mad and I could see it eating him alive. I told him we do not hit. End of story. We solve our problems with words but never through physical violence. I do not want him to be physical. Zeus and I talk things through and these babies will know how to do that when they leave my guidance filled house for the real, adult world.

So after a good jumping on the trampoline to release his anger he came back in and climbed into my arms like a sweet baby.We cuddled and hugged and I told him and showed him how much I love him and need him here with me. I told him it is not time for him to leave yet. When it is time I will help him pack and move on to new places.

I was glad God was with me during this turn of events. He gave me strength, wisdom,and peace to get through a very scary point.I am grateful to have him with me because if I was alone it would not have been such a happy ending. Glory be to God that my child will be here just one more day.

Gotta love the misadventures of the Haskins House

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Racism, a class I'm taking

Over the past 3 1/2 weeks I have been taking a class on Racism and ethnicity. I pictured this class to be absolutely miserable before I started. I hate the topic of racism. I hate the fact that people flip, twist and tangle your words to get something negative out of it. It's all just, well, stupid if you ask me. But the school says I'm required to take it so here I am taking this course. And actually learning something from it

This week we are focusing mainly on slavery and African American history in America. Which is fine, we all should study our history. It teaches us about how to change the future. But a few interesting things have come up, well, not necessarily come up, I mean I have just come across. They are out there for all to know. I just never read about them until this week.

We were asked an interesting question. How would you feel if the descendants of slaves were given a annual government stipend? Meaning a federal payment for their troubles.

This struck me as a very odd thing. My answer is no. Now let me explain why. Slavery was abolished more than 150 years ago. Today there are not any slaves alive. There have been several generations since then. I do not understand paying a family that never saw it, lived it or even understands it fully. I do understand that we all need to be aware of it so that it doesn't happen again. But I also think if you try to create these payments there are many others that should get some monetary payments as well. The Japanese descendants that were put into camps during the war, the German descendants that were interned, the Native American descendants that were robbed of land and moved and this list goes on and on. We need not to try to pay them off. We need to all join together.

I watched a YouTube video of Morgan Freeman yesterday that really impressed me. He was doing an interview with someone, I didn't recognize the dude, who was questioning him about his African American history. I was pleasantly surprised that Morgan Freeman does not like Black history month. Nor does he want to be called a Black man.

/Like myself I feel having a month set aside singles out that race. Maybe not intentionally, but it does. We do not celebrate Japanese history, German history, Dutch history, Native American history as a specified month. So why do we celebrate Black history so prominently? Why don't we just add that into our schools as part of American history. Because it is American history, like Morgan says. When a white child comes home from school during the month of Feb. and asks why doesn't he have a month, please tell me how to explain that to my child who is a descendant of Native Americans and Germans, who both suffered as well. I think if we all stop talking about someone being racist the issue will go away, in time. Lets stop trying to find the negative in someones words. We need to support each other. We need to love each other. Forget about the petty stuff. Please quit trying to break someone else down or get them fired. We all misspeak!!!

Most people are not racist and don't want to be and try not to be. But if you continue to throw things in their faces and belittle them and talk down to them they really are not going to like you even if you were blue. That's not racist it's a fact, they don't like you, no matter your hair color, skin color or eye color. There are so many races and ethnicity's in America, lets celebrate them all. Lets be Proud to be Americans. Be supportive of our Constitution. Love our Freedoms. Learn to speak English. Be willing to help each other. Be Proud of the American Flag. Celebrate the fact that you choose your own path.

I hope that many will read this and understand that the more we talk about racism the more it will grow. If we take the power away then it can not harm us any longer. This will take many years and it needs everyones support. We have made huge progress and have much more to make. Come on America, join together, and lets live a happy AMERICAN life.

I hope you will take this as my attempt at challenging others to think positive about our future for the children's sake. This is in no way meant to be a negative or hurtful commentary. Just my thoughts.

Come back soon to the Haskins House for more on own lives.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

it all gets wierd

So this week is just that, weird. My 3 oldest babies left on Sunday morning headed for Texas. I proceeded to spend the day mostly in tears missing all my little hugs and kisses and silly conversations. I miss my little helpers and all the noise. I do still have my baby here and that has been nice. He is such a cuddle bug. It is super sweet. I also had to spend several hours working on another paper for school. Yes, I am attempting to go back to school.

Monday I slipped in the laundry room trying to turn off the water outside and noticed mold all over the ceiling.

Disgusting but it definitely made Zeus and I very curious. We started checking bathrooms and other rooms in the house looking for anything that might look suspicious. We found a 4 ft by 3 ft spot of ceiling mold in the garage. Then we found bubbling and discoloration of the ceiling in the kitchen. Ridiculous. Now, remember this house is only 6 months old. Brand new construction. I'm thinking the houses built in the 60's and 70's were built much for efficiently.

So yesterday Zeus and I were not getting along at all. I worked so hard to get my homework finished before he got home from school, so we could spend some time together without interruptions.Yea, that did not happen. It was all down hill from there.

Today all the maintenance workers were in and out of the house from 9 am til 2:30pm. More than 6 different people trying to find out why our ceiling was wet, moldy and dripping. After cutting through the wettest spot and buckets of water pouring on the floor, the workers managed to find the reason we have mold in 4 rooms. Zeus and I assumed the bathroom plumbing was leaking but much to our surprised the duct work was condensating causing massive amounts of sitting water. The main cause eluded the workers for a while until the 5th worker arrived, an HVAC contractor that immediately found the problem. When hurriedly building this house the builders managed to forget to enclose the attic allowing a large section open to the heat and cold outdoor temps and air. This hot air when coupled with cold water pipes created condensation which has over time starting rotting wood and destroying sheet rock ceilings. Workers had to cut an attic access in the garage which was suppose to be done when building, and get up in the attic and enclose the open area. Main problem is fixed. We are still left with a hole in the ceiling in the laundry room, brown ceiling spots, moldy ceilings and a duct dripping into my laundry room floor.

Workers are "hoping" that the ceiling and duct will dry by Monday so that all the repair work can be done.

Now doesn't that sound like a lot of fun.

 During the day today I managed to have 4 other children here since a wife of one of Zeus classmates had some medical issues and needed a sitter. I was glad to watch them while I worked on yet another paper. Boy these papers are getting mighty old and I'm only done with 2 1/2 weeks of 3 years. WOW, this is going to really be old by week 100. The kids were very well behaved.

Tell me this, why in the world would you build a house that does not meet any state code or regulations. Why would you expect a poorly built house to last very long. The housing office here on base has a 2 year warranty on all these units but after that they are going to be financially responsible for the costs of all this damage. I should warn them now that they are in for a HUGE surprise. The upkeep on these homes is going to be astronomical. Now, don't get me wrong, I love having such a large home that is comfy and cozy and new but I am so thankful I do not have to pay the mortgage. And so thankful this is not a long assignment.

Overall it has been a very interesting week.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


What does July 4th mean to you?

Does it mean party, boating, grilling and hanging out?

Or does it dig a little deeper to the real and true meaning of having a holiday weekend.

Well to me July 4th is huge. I am an Air Force vet and I am married to an active duty officer. So when July 4th rolls around I get goose bumps. It is a day to be grateful and thankful. I appreciate the true sacrifice of those families who have lost a military loved one. I feel that we as Americans do not pay tribute or honor those sacrifices like we should. Its not always about money though either. Its about helping those widows or widowers raise those children, love those children and help them by getting a break from all the stress of daily life.

July 4th is about appreciating those active duty military TODAY. Say thank you once in a while. It makes a huge difference. Stop and put your hand over your heart and stand still when you hear the National anthem played. Respect our nations flag. Understand the hardships of all those families that have a family member away whether it be in Iraq or 3 states away in Alabama. Support them in their efforts to better their lives and their children's.

July 4th is about celebrating something great and that is FREEDOM.
Freedom to drive, walk, swim, sing, talk, learn, work, worship, help, cook, and all those things we get to do because we are a free nation. This is not a right my friend. This is something that was earned by hundreds of thousands of military men and women and the sacrifices their families made to let go of them.
We are a blessed nation and we need not forget how we got here and how we continue to keep those freedoms and blessings

I hope you all had a great weekend. I hope as those fireworks were going up into the air you were thankful.
I know I was.

Zeus and I threw a CELEBRATE AMERICA party on Saturday evening. We invited many of my husbands classmates and their families, neighbors, friends and Zeus' OTS classmates. It was incredible. We ended up with 57 people here. Yes, all at the same time. Awesome. I've never thrown a party for that many before. I did not plan on having that many over when all this started but as we added names and families it just grew and grew. It was wonderful. I loved every minute of it.

We had hot dogs, hamburgers, potato salad, tater tots, mac n cheese, beans, chips and dip, homemade ice cream, pound cake, flag cake, cupcakes, key lime pie, brownies, fudge, fruit, ice cream cake and lots and lots of cokes.

 It was so much fun. We played on the swing set, jumped on the trampoline, played Bola ball, and the crowd favorite, ROCKBAND. Rockband got played for over 4 1/2 hours straight.
It was great to see the many different people come together to celebrate and appreciate each other and the company we created. I sure hope everyone had a good time because we sure did.

It was a lot of people but we ended up fitting quite comfortably in and around our house. I was thrilled to know that the only thing that was broken, damaged or injured was the toilet seat. WOW, no little fingers, no arms, no heads, no glass knick-knacks or anything. Just the toilet. Fantastic. These families have well behaved and very respectful children. It was wonderful.

Thank you Chatfields, Burns, Rodriquez's, Powells, Pelkeys, Ponds, Morris, Sterlings, Kingerys, Cooks, Thorpes, Allens, Mayos, and Jegede. I enjoyed meeting and spending time with all the wives and getting a chance to chat with all the classmates and neighbors. What a joy it was.