Saturday, April 24, 2010

Are you a CEO?

Today I sit here thinking how terribly frustrated I am with my little world or company.

I think about some recent and not so recent decisions I made. Then I think "did I make the right choice? Is this REALLY what I signed up for? WOW, if it is I must be dumb, stupid or maybe just a little possessed"

I try my best to make sure everything I THINK I am in control of is spinning in just the right direction at just the right speed. But days like today and yesterday question my abilities to make it spin anyway at all.

Being a wife is definitely a tough task. Especially being a part time/ long distance wife. I do not get the physical moments most live-in wives get. I do not get a daily hug. I do not get the sweet touches or kisses that rejuvenate the soul. Those times where words are not needed just simple cuddling. PURE AFFECTION. You know that thing that makes you feel and think, OH I CAN do this. That feeling of relief and comfort. Yeah, not so much. This has proven a more challenging test then what I imagined.

Now throw in the MOM factor. Not to bad. But now multiply that times 4. Just got significantly harder. I know my job to teach, mold, shape and grow 4 little beings into what I believe is a productive, effective, and positive member of society sounds easy. Its not. And trying to do it alone is far exceeding my limits.

Now add a little Stay at Home action to that. Meaning my JOB is to run this place we all call a home. Only one problem, not one of the 5 other members likes or listens to how I plan or try to manage this place. NOPE, they each want to do it ALL there own way. Could you imagine a company running that way?  Every employee trying to tell the CEO how to do this and what to do with that. Are you kidding me? You would be fired just like that. Seems I do not have the ability to fire any of the 5 employees that are under me. Like Mister Trump says, If I can not control my employees or motivate them I must be a lousy leader.I am definitely second guessing my desire to continue on this journey of being a CEO of so many. Why not fire myself and make my own company where I am the only employee.Sounds good huh?

This rings harsh to my psyche. I want to through my hands up and let the Assistant CEO take over. But the issue is that I would still be doing most of the CEO job just getting paid a mail room clerks salary and not receiving any of the credit I would be due. That asst. would take credit for it all and expect me to make it all go smoothly.

This is not how I pictured running my company/ life. I am not sure how to change it.
My asst. CEO is only a part time employee and does not see how I do things on an everyday basis. The asst. doesn't care of the current business plan. The asst. just comes in and takes over throwing all my ideas out the window, doing it their way. WHAT? A company will never survive this way. The employees will get confused on what rules and laws to follow. The method of packaging is completely different. The method of cleaning and scheduling is far worse. These little employees try their best to follow all the methods set in front of them but they are seriously contemplating going on strike. They want the asst. fired from their duties. The CEO is who they want to take charge. The CEO is who they support. The CEO is who they want to work for, not the asst.

How do you tell the asst. that his methods are about to bring the whole thing crashing down on him and the CEO. How do you take control out of the asst.'s hands and return it where it rightfully belongs, in the CEO's?

I have tried polling other CEO's on how they run their own similar yet different company. The answer they all have is disheartening to me. They say you hired the wrong asst. or you need to train them or send them to training. WHAT? I just shake my head. Where is this training? How in the world do you train a know-it-all assistant and make a difference?

How do you avoid a complete uprising from the employees? How do you manage to keep peaceful control? What do you do when one of the employees thinks they can do a better job than the asst and want to be promoted?

This is what my life has become. As hard as I try to do the dishes, laundry, disciplining, mothering, fathering and every other duty that has been placed in my lap. I have fallen short. I have faltered in my communication. I have created chaos and almost full blown rioting. I pray. Lord help me please. I obviously can not do this alone and by the looks of it my way is not working.

My managing is at risk of complete failure with the asst. setting up a covert coup. How do I avoid the unstoppable?

Are you a CEO? If so how do you motivate your assistant to only do certain tasks and without disrupting the other plan you have already implemented? I am looking deep for healthy, supportive yet problem solving answers and suggestions. Go ahead, SHOOT, because my gun is jammed!!!