Today I am beginning to feel very sad. Its not the sad that you would think. I mean, I miss my husband but I am not sad for him. I am sad because of what we as a family and what my children have to leave behind when we move in 3 weeks.
When we first got here we were nervous because we heard nothing good coming from our neighbors about D.C. public schools. I was very nervous about moving here the first week of August and only having 2 weeks to research, interview and select a school we felt fit our needs. Being very pregnant this was not going to be easy. Zeus and I pressed on and to our amazement both of school aged children were accepted into a school we thought sounded good.
Fast forward to today. We now have 3 children in this school and will never forget the memories we have made here.
Now, D.C.P.S have a terrible reputation and I am not sure why. We are in a public school on Capitol Hill and I could not be happier. These children have been able to experience history as they learn it.
What I wouldn't give to have been able to read about MLK, JR. and visit the place of his speech, much less perform the speech for hundreds at the very spot he gave it. AMAZING.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/video/2010/01/15/VI2010011502225.html
What I wouldn't give to have my teacher come to my birthday party. Yes, Our teachers attend our birthday parties. Now that is love and commitment.
What I wouldn't give to have been able to go to one of the worlds greatest art museum after learning what art means to us.
What I wouldn't give to have visited Ford's Theatre and the house across the street when learning about President Lincoln.
What I wouldn't give to have been able to walk the halls of the U.S capitol after a government lesson.
What I wouldn't give to have stepped into the White House after learning its history and the history of the Presidency.
What I wouldn't give to have visited world class farms after our animal lessons.
What I wouldn't give to have experienced Inauguration as a child.
What I wouldn't give to have visited Arlington national cemetery EVERY single memorial day.
Life lessons coupled with field trips to engrave them into your mind.
What I wouldn't give to have been able to drive by the U.S. Capitol every.single.day I went to school.
What I wouldn't give to have professional actors come give acting lessons once a week.
What I wouldn't give to have a professional storyteller come tell me stories once a week.
What I wouldn't give to have all sorts of gardens around my school to start, cultivate, write about, eat and learn about.
These are the things that we are going to miss. The list goes on and on. Children going to school with Senators children, federal employees children, children of lost soldiers, Chinese adopted children, poor children, and rich children. I am more than pleased to have experienced the love of teachers, principals and administration.
D.C.P.S may get a bad rap but it is not going to come from me. I will walk away praising the work those people do because they use their hearts. My children are better children today after being a part of a great family here in D.C. I must thank the staff, teachers and administration of the Capitol Hill Cluster school to include Peabody and Watkins elementary schools. Thank you for your kindness, love and patience. Thank you for loving my children and caring for them much like I do. We leave this place with you all in our hearts. We had teachers from Pre-K all the way to fourth grade and everyone of them was incredible. Thank you so much.
This week my son had his last school assembly. I cried. If you know me it takes a lot to make me cry. I was sad because I know at our next place we will not be able to share Americas rich history as clearly and as memorably as we have here. Here he is singing about Rosa parks and Martin Luther King Jr and the civil rights movement.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbjLwT60lFk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loIUDuQBdaM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMnmKOt7ssc
What I wouldn't give to make my children's lives the best they can be.
Blessings to all of you and I welcome you back here to read more about The Haskins House on the move.
Friday, January 29, 2010
What I wouldn't give
Sweet writings of HaskinsHouse at 5:43 PM 1 comments
Labels: Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, Washington D.C., watkins
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
What do you live for?
Sweet writings of HaskinsHouse at 11:27 AM 0 comments
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Perfect Storm
Tonight as I stand changing the clothes from the washer to the dryer I started thinking.
No, don't say your little sarcastic comments. Uh oh shes thinking. No, I don't need anymore negative right now. I was thinking about the life I lead and the life my family leads.
I look at what is required of a military family. I look at what is required as a Stay at home mom. I look at what is required as a Single parent. I look at what is required as a part time wife.
Military family.
Most think we get all these special privileges. Not so much. As a military family we are subject to short term assignments, meaning moving to a place for a very short while only to move less than a year later. Is that easy? You tell me. Want my answer? No! heck no! Does it happen often? Sure it does. Not everyone experiences it, but it happens. Then you must start all over making friends, creating another support group, opening yourself up and figuring out who you can trust and who you can't. You have to run around like a chicken handing pieces of paper called "orders" to everyone on base to prove you have to move and set up a million appointments. Sometimes being a military family requires you to have short notice moves. Where they, The Gov't, hands you these so called "orders" and you have to move sometimes less than 30 days. Most people will never experience the life of a military family. Most people will not have pity for a military family. Most people choose to ignore the strife and struggles of a military family. Most people never listen or care to listen to a military families story.
Stay at home Moms!
Well this is the most thankless job you will ever experience. No seriously, you are on call 24/7/365 without extra pay.
You have to make sure kids are up and get ready for school or you have to get them ready for school. Then you shuttle to school or the bus. You wash clothes and sheets. You cook lunch and dinner. You have to do dishes 3 or more times a day. Your name is called 5 million times a day. You wipe butts. Clean toilets. Clean sinks that get dirty again hours later. You scrub carpets. You pay bills. You forget to shower. You organize cabinets and garages. You make beds and call your friends. You miss your shows and vacuum the carpets. You scrub the tile and wipe down the table. You hug and kiss the ouchies and boo boos. You worry. You wait. You lose yourself to become someones mom. You have to grocery shop. You do laundry and check the mail. You fill out homework sheets and pass out field trip money. You listen to 4 little ones days all at the same time. You help with homework while you haven't seen that in 20 years. You suggest problem solutions. You listen to arguments and settle fights. You discipline and coach the sports team. You do all this and more without a single THANK YOU. You do this without a paycheck. You do this without any promotion or reward. You do this to provide the best for your kids and give them have what you didn't. THE HARDEST MOST SELFLESS JOB IN THE WORLD
Single Parent!
Remember the above paragraph. Now throw in there a traveling, training, hardly at home father and your job just got 10 million times harder because now you have to do it all on your own without any physical support, mental support, or anyone to tell you they are with you and you can do it. Now you have to ask those people you barely know to help you. You have to juggle it all in 2 hands hoping nothing falls while you dance to the birthday parties, field trips, doctor appt's, luncheons, and God forbid hospitals all while dealing with a cranky baby, hungry siblings and poopy pants. FUN!!!
Part Time Wife!
You are never told or taught how to be this, part time wife. How to call or Text without being too nosy or overbearing. You are not taught how to be casual when you are fuming mad at the spouse on the other end of the phone. They don't tell you that you will not hear from your spouse for days sometimes weeks and not worry. You are never taught to be patient and loving when your spouse forgets about you and how your day went. You have to learn and figure out that your needs are never as important as the trips, traveling and training. You are not told about how stressful you make their day. You have to figure out how to be in his life without being there physically. You have to figure out how to stay positive when you feel less than and completely 2 inches tall. You have to figure out how to be the shining light 250 or 5000 miles away. You have to learn not to expect a Thank you. You have to learn how to deal with the sarcasm when all you needed or wanted was sympathy. You have to be ready for them to come home early. You have to be willing to cancel plans when they get called out early. You have to learn to wash their laundry with lightening speed when they are only home 18 hours. You have to squash any expectations for birthday's or Anniversaries because they are not THAT important. Being this PT wife has got to be one of the hardest things you will ever do.
All of these things are tough. But when you put all of these things together you just stepped in my life for a brief minute. Yes, I am a military family, stay at home mom, Single parent and part time wife. All of these things can be amazing. They can be humbling. All of these things can also combine to become the perfect storm.
I am grateful to be a wife and mother. I am grateful for having a husband that cares for his family and has a job. Don't get me wrong things could be a heck of a lot worse. But I think if they were worse I may not be here. What I am getting at is that today I am feeling powerless, helpless, unappreciated, nameless, and downright dumb.
I have come to the conclusion that I must surrender my hopes and dreams for myself. My children's hopes and dreams have to come first. My Husbands job will always determine where I live, what I live in, the kind of schools my kids go to and how much he sees us. It is never easy. I hope that one day I can come to gripes with this conclusion. I would like to accept it with open arms instead of it being shoved into my tightly crossed arms.
Lord help me release the Ice skating, counseling, photography and travel. Help me accept the snot, puke, dirty nails, and showerless days. Until then please keep this Perfect Storm from gathering steam and moving into the next low pressure area over my head.
Sweet writings of HaskinsHouse at 8:06 PM 1 comments
Labels: Family, military, sad, stay at home mom, wife
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
A flash of what could've been
I love my life, albeit extremely stressful and difficult, I love it. I need to continue to remind myself of this especially when there is a trail of dog poop down the hall left from little shoes, or a sink piled high of pots and pans that can't go through the dishwasher, or slow to get dressed children at 7 am, or a cute sleepy little boy that does not want to go with me to the bus stop in the morning. I love my life
Tonight God gave me a little nudge. Well more like a shove. Nevertheless he got my attention.
The munchkins and I sat down to play the newest of new board game called Connect 4x4. Actually Zulu and I started playing and then Omega and Zero wanted to play too so I definitely welcomed them. After only winning one game out of 5 I noticed the clock hanging above the T.V. It said 7:55pm. Opps, missed bedtime. Oh well!
I gently instructed the children to go brush those little "toofies" while I put the game away. Minutes after sending them off I hear Zero panicking in the midst of arguing little boys and she sounded BAD. I dropped the game and went running only to find Ziggy not breathing and blue with his mouth wide open. He was in hysterics to say the least. I excitedly sent Omega off to get ice while I figured out what happened and got Ziggy to come to. Yes, he was slightly unresponsive and kinda googly eyed. Zero and Zulu were my eye witnesses and explained exactly what happened very clearly.
Am I kidding? NO! Ziggy has had about 4 similar events in the last year. All the while Zeus has been away due to military travel. Yea, thanks. Every. Single. Time.
So what feels like hours is only mere minutes. I question him like he is a Guantanamo detainee. What is your name? How do you spell it? How old are you? Who is the girl standing beside me? What are we doing soon? Do you know where you are? I repeat these over and over thinking oh crap I am going to have to make THAT call. A quick prayer to God asking for help and bam he remembers every question I asked him and answered them all correctly. WHEW!!! Scared, Heck yea. Nothing compares to the fear that was pulsating through my veins. I was picturing all those TV movies and terrible news stories replacing those people with my son and I. Thankfully He is ok. There is a nasty cut and Bright Blue blood bubble on his hairline.
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you what happened. Silly me. I get ahead of myself sometimes. Sorry bout that.
While trying to get his toothbrush he decided to stand on the lid of the toilet seat. When he reached over the lid slid dumping him directly on the floor head first. He ended up landing on the gold metal strip that holds down the carpet over the linoleum. NOT GOOD!!!
What a flash of what could've been. I am thankful for his safety. I am thankful for his life and I promise I will do better and I will slow down and relish the life of a mother with 4 beautiful, smart, talented and smiling young children.
Ziggy I love you my child and please please try to land on your feet just a little more.
Sweet writings of HaskinsHouse at 9:34 PM 0 comments
Friday, January 8, 2010
Building one bra at a time!
Hey Bloggy Buddies!



Sweet writings of HaskinsHouse at 12:00 PM 0 comments
Labels: america, frustration, social issues
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Reflection
Today was a great day but, as I sit here thinking how relaxed I was It brings back the memories of 2009.
What a year! The year started out amazing with my husbands 30th birthday, our acceptance to AFOTS, a wonderful spring break, awesome summer trip and then well a few bumps were placed in the road.
I made some mistakes that I am not proud of, but that I accept. Those mistakes lead to some harsh consequences that I seem to think still do not fit the crime but none the less were handed down.
I lost a few good people in my life. Not by death. Not really sure exactly when or how but nevertheless they are gone and I will forever mourn those lost relationships. I have given it to God and that has given me peace. But it does not take all the pain and sadness away. I understand that it will fade over time but will leave a lasting scar to my heart.
I made a few amazing friends throughout this whole ordeal and I am most grateful for that today. I was also able to nurture a few other relationships thus sealing them as Gold.
There were great accomplishments this past year like weight loss, size reduction, optimism and beautiful growth in my marriage. I managed to learn more about my children and to be accepting of their little personalities, flaws and all. I was able to help others in tough times like providing childcare, helping paint, some times even mowing. I was given the great opportunity to grow a very young relationship with someone I might have never known. God is great.
I am most thankful to all those( you know who you are) who stepped up to help me. Who saw a need and said something. Those that made me important to them and their lives. Those who gave completely anonymously out of the goodness of their heart. Thank you each and everyone of you for your extreme kindness. Whether it was babysitting, chatting, monetary, and just plain thoughtfulness each something was well appreciated.
Life is quite an amazing journey. The year 2009 is now history and for that I am MOST grateful.
With 2010 here and alive and I looking forward to awesome things like a family move, a great pay raise, a new position as a wife and mother, and new hope that lost relationships will be replaced with bigger and better new ones. A new perspective of God my father and his hand in my life and my children's. I am renewed with his spirit and understand his love is undying. No twitter post, blog post, facebook update, phone call or misunderstanding will tear us apart. I have a friend til the end and that is all I need. He is here with me no matter if I have my morning face, happy face, sad face, or disgusted face on. At 3am when I am crying in deep desperation he is there holding my hand. Every once in a while I need a little reminder of that and I am grateful to wonderful facebook friends, tweeps and family for sending me those little reminders always at just the right time.
My hopes for this year include big things, fun places, peace, love and joy. I always say I have 2 things I love more than anything in life those are my family and my camera. HAHAHA, I sure do love taking photos.
Look for more photos on my blog, shorter more frequent blog posts and a deeper understanding of who I am.
I am going to try to be more transparent. There is nothing to hide. There is no reason to lie. I am me and I am learning to love me. Why don't you join me?
Welcome 2010 and all the adventures life will provide me and my family.
Blessings and Happy New Year to all of you.
Sweet writings of HaskinsHouse at 4:20 PM 0 comments
Friday, January 1, 2010
The Best Yet
This place was UN freaking Believable. We were in the woods by ourselves with snow on the ground in a log cabin. I walked up to the door and there was a sweet message from the staff wishing us a happy anniversary. When I opened the door I felt me knees get weak. I think tears wanted to come out but it was just to cold. The room was lit with battery operated t-lites. There was a dozen roses on the dining table with a chocolate rose next to them. On all the tables, end tables dressers and what have you were scattered red and pink rose petals. The Bed had a big rose petal heart. The fire was lit. Soft music was playing. OH my. I was in extreme heaven at this point. WOW, that was all I could say. WOW! That was so stinking romantic. We hurried to get everything in and unpacked because we had a dual massage coming 30 minutes after arriving. And yes, we had side by side massages in out cabin. Thanks Blue valley Massage. The ladies were very good. Then we had some time to kill so after the most relaxing peaceful massages we decided it was time to take advantage of our own hot tub on the back porch. Zeus grabbed the wine and glasses and set up the Checkers. We drank Moscato and played checkers in the hot tub. Now remember there was snow on the ground, woods all around us and out of nowhere came a family of 5 deer. Oh boy, it just keeps getting better. We relaxed while playing checkers and watching the deer. Breathtaking is about the only word that can describe this place and setting. I really thought I was in a movie at one point. What better way to spend with your spouse than this. My Zeus hit it spot on this time. After that we needed to shower and head back to town which was a little over 75 minute drive to meet some long time friends for dinner.
Sweet writings of HaskinsHouse at 11:39 AM 2 comments
Labels: Anniversary, Family, football hall of fame, fun, love