Thursday, December 17, 2009

My favorite Part

As I sit here completely exhausted, mentally drained and ready to hang up my Mommy wings I think of the past two days and it reminds me of why I do what I do.

This time of year can be ridiculously busy. But I love it because this is the time of year that the children put on their Christmas/Season productions at school.

Yesterday was my 1st graders production. All the first grade classes either sang songs, performed poems or other group numbers. It was amazing that they managed to work in all the holidays, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas, Eid, and New Years. My son's Class, Ms. Padilla, performed a Poem called I'm freezing. It was so precious. My little Zulu knew his lines and all the hand movements. He did not even turn his head to look at others. He knew exactly what he was suppose to do. And was so happy doing it. I was super proud of him. And I think he was super proud too

So tell me what do you think? Is he cute or what?

Today happened to me Zero's class performances. Her grade decided to do what they call an Art Explosion. It showcased individual talent and small groups. The kids sang, danced, performed martial arts, played guitar and some, like my daughter played Piano. Then we parents brought food and we had a winter feast. It really was a lot of fun and WOW, some of those kids will have a career in the arts some day.

Zero, my unbelievably shy and sensitive child really wanted to perform. I suggested her piano. So she practiced and practiced in her room every spare moment. She had planned to play Fur Elise. I was really excited because she sounded REALLY good in her room. But over the weekend she abandoned that idea and decided that she was not ready to showcase herself for fear of laughing and teasing. That moment gave me the opportunity to talk to her about life experiences. What a great tool our voices can be. After our discussion she decided maybe she could do it and she would try something not so ambitious. So she thought Ode to Joy would be more appropriate. I just supported her all the way, it didn't matter what I wanted her to play what mattered was that she was actually gonna do this.

Today came and well, I did not see her anywhere. I thought she made herself sick worrying and did not even come down the stairs from her floor. But after about 5 performances I spotted her in the back. Yes, she was all smiles. I did not know whether she had scratched herself or not. I was hoping not, but with her you just never know, the timidness seems to take control very quickly. So I sat patiently as they worked their way through the more than 30 performances. Low and behold around performance 20 I saw her make her way towards the stage and I thought WOW, she is gonna attempt this. Amazing. Then they announced her name and my heart was pounding. I was shaking and scared for her. I knew this was a HUGE hurdle for her mind. Putting herself out there was going to be tough but luckily she did it. Yes, she made mistakes, and started over but in the end my baby conquered her fear and performed her piano skills before more than 200 sets of eyes. It was awesome. I was so shocked that it made me cry. My heart was thrilled for her. I think our chats are making a difference in her self esteem and her pride is starting to shine and boy does it ever make my heart sing. My baby girl accomplished something I could never do as a child. WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Without further adieu, here is my Zero and her first public piano performance. Way to go ZERO!!!

What an amazing two days! Motherhood can be tiring, draining and downright frustrating but it also can be humbling and fulfilling and yes, today was one of those days. It will go down in Haskins history as a great milestone for Miss Zero and her accomplishments. And I will remember this day when I am old, wrinkled and grey. This story has been etched into my brain ans shall continue to be told for years to come.

Blessings to all of you and with God's help and mother natures retreat my husband, Zeus will be home in 45 hours.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Happy Happy Birthday Birthday

Sunday was another birthday in our house but this one happens to be a day when 2 of them share the same day. Unlike twins they are 4 years apart but still have the same day. Pretty rare but hey we like it.

We always let the kids decide on where they want to go out to eat and this time we changed it up and went to birthday breakfast instead of Dinner since the Gparents would be leaving. It was so much fun and the boys got to eat whatever they wanted.

Then we were able to Skype with Zeus and we let them open their presents while skyping since Dad could not be here with us. Next best thing right? He at least got to see some of the reactions.

They loved all their gifts. Guns, Games, Clothes, and fun. What more could they ask for?

Then we sang to them and they got to have an unusual store bought Ice cream cake since Mommy took the year off.

It was a great day. The boys enjoyed hanging out with their family and Gparents and loved shooting Nerf darts at each other.

Cheers to my new 4 Year old Ziggy

Cheers to my new 8 year old Omega.

Happy Birthday to my sweet babies. My babies you will always be and my love you will always have. Blessings on another successful year and very eventful year at that.

I love you Ziggy and Omega

Monday, December 14, 2009

3 year absence

This past week has been absolutely awesome. A little stressful to begin with but it worked itself out.

Wednesday evening my Mom(Pegster) and Stepdad(Sir Gramps-a-lot) flew in for a visit.
I packed our days with tons for sightseeing and events.

Thursday, We started out at Union Station and then we toured the Nations capitol and sat in to hear Congress and the House in session.

That was quite amazing to hear them debate this Healthcare bill, we even witnessed a spat between 2 Senators. It was funny to see that woman jump down that Man's throat. She was mad and he didn't seem to care.

Then we visited the Smithsonian of Natural History to see the beautiful Hope Diamond and other priceless jewels.

Next we were off to pick up the big kids from school.

This was the first time ever that Pegster and Sir Gramps-a-lot have ever ridden a subway/metro system. I think that got a kick out of it. I enjoyed showing them the place we have made a home for so long.

Friday, I was a sweet loving Mother and let the babies stay home to spend some time with their Grandparents. We showed them several memorials such as the Pentagon memorial, Air Force memorial and Iwo Jima ( US Marine memorial). We toured the Smithsonian American history Museum. Then we had Lunch at one of my families favorite restaurants, Chevy's Mexican.

Then we were off to see the National Christmas tree and Presidents park Santa.

Saturday was even better, We started the day out with a dear friend taking us to White House Communications kids Christmas party. It was great to share the day with her and show the parents a little of what we have done the past few years. Then Sir Gramps-a-lot and Pegster took us shopping for birthday's. It was so much fun. We all got new shoes and new outfits. Oh yea, Thanks Mom.

Sunday oh Sunday was my sweet little boys birthday. I will share this bit of info during my next post. Come back tomorrow to see what all the fuss was.

Until then Have a great day.
Oh and, Lets hope Gramps-a-lot and Pegster do not have another 3 year absence.

Blessings and yes he will be home in 4 more days

Monday, December 7, 2009


Yes folks that's right we are working on family baby number 3 in a matter of 2 months. My Brother, my cousin and now another cousin. I seem to be surrounded by pregnant friends, frienemies(my new word, Thanks Conan) , family members and acquaintances. It is just crazy.

I made a diaper cake for the Lightfoot baby, which is my cousin. He will be here within the month and we are so very excited.

His Daddy and I are 4 weeks apart and grew up together through are teen years. We have so many memories that I can never forget him, our time together or the love I have for him. It is difficult to express your love and thankfulness to someone like him though. He is a manly man! He holds a very special place in my heart and I am so happy and excited that he is about to join my world of parenthood. What a blessing it is.

So I, being the crafty one, decided to make him and his wife a diaper cake. I love to make these for special people in my life. They are not easy or simple. I put a lot of thought, shopping, research into these works of art. Each one is unique and I like it that way. No 2 are alike.

Baby Lightfoot is having a Nautical theme or sailboat themed room. It will be adorable so I decided that, that was the theme I wanted to follow. Boy, I thought it would not be hard but was I ever wrong. The shopping, Ohhhhh, the shopping. I never thought I was going to find just the thing for it. Finally I did and added a little quirkiness and hilarity to it as well, since Daddy is a nut job. He is down right hilarious, sarcastic and maybe a little rude but I still love him. So without further adieu!

Here it is the Lightfoot Diaper cake.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Woo Hoo My Special Heirloom

Wow, I sit here looking out the window as the snow is falling and dream of the great things I have achieved and been so honored to be a part of. Life has not been easy by any means, but along with those challenges comes great memories and unbelievable opportunities.

While Zeus is still in OTS, the kids and I remain here at home for at least 68 more days. That's just a little over 2 months. WOW, time is flying by.

The other day a good friend called to see if I would like some coffee from Starbucks. Well, lets see here Um Yes. That was not a hard one to answer at all. So she said she would come by sometime in the afternoon. When she got here I was thrilled to have some company no less but I was even more surprised by what she brought me.

Remember my post back in late September, No way she's lying, well my friend brought me the results from that day. Oh yes, I know you are excited so those of you who have not already gotten to see this on facebook or twitter I will share with you Bloggy buddies now.

What do you think?

Someone mentioned that it looked like a cardboard statue!

Someone mentioned that he looked like I was married to him meeting some Air Force guy!

Someone mentioned that he might be coping a feel!

Someone asked why I was next to him!

Well, NO, NO, and NO! This is Pres. O, Myself and Zeus. We are standing in the Oval Office and if you look over our shoulders you can see part of the girls playset.

AMAZING, simply amazing. This picture shall be loved and honored by all of our family as well as us.

What a perk for my husband and so many others that have worked for the Boss so diligently and honorably.

Enjoy your weekend while I stare at a picture of a handsome man soon to be home with me and my babies.

14 days and counting.

Monday, November 30, 2009

A wonderful yet sad day

WOW, can you believe it is already December 1st? No me neither. This year has gone by so fast. I am most grateful that it has flown by but a little sad that all the babies are now a year older.

Thanksgiving pretty much wrapped up our November. As fun and exciting as it was I must say it was a little lonely. The hardest part is pushing through and putting on that happy face for these 4 beautiful babes. Was it easy? Heck no. Did I do? Why yes I did. And I am thankful I did.

I am most thankful for my husband and his drive to further his education, follow his dream, and provide for our family. He never lets anything get in his way. I am so proud of him. He is doing well. Managing to keep it together and get through this tough training. He did get the opportunity to go to a Major's house with another OT for Thanksgiving dinner. So he was able to get off the base and out of the training world for a few hours.And watch his much missed football, Go Cowboys! Zeus we love you and can't wait to see you in less than 19 days.

We on the other hand had a blast with neighbors and friends to be thankful for and with. This was an awesome dinner. We had tons of food and boy was it ever good. The kids had a man to wrestle and attack and to get just a little attention from and I had ladies to chat with and keep my mind in the positive.

I prepared the Turkey from beginning to end, even carved it by myself. Can you believe that? I know, I know! You don't but you will be glad to hear I did and it tasted fantastic. You can hold the applause! LOL, I love that yall are here to listen. Thanks.

Rockband got some good miles added to it. We introduced a few new people to this family friendly game as well. Your Welcome Rockband!!

What a day! What wonderful friends! What precious children! What a Happy Mother!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Full of life

Oh yeah, This week we have been full of life. No kidding.

We started out making sure a school project Omega had was complete with all details. It turned out to awesome. Omega, was required to complete a 3-D 12x12 model of a certain memorial or monument here in D.C. The kids were chosen at random for all of the different monuments. Omega was lucky enough to have received one we knew about, National Korean War Memorial.

(Here he is with it)

We then had to prepare for a few field trips. The kids love these and I am most grateful for the teachers taking them and allowing them to experience different cultures and the rich history D.C has to offer. This is one thing WE will greatly miss after our departure. I encourage you to visit or if you live here to take time and get out there and see, learn and experience our past. It truly is interesting and just a little amazing.

I had to work quickly to finish a specific diaper cake for a dear cousin. That ended up taking a huge chunk of my week with shopping, researching, planning and constructing. It turned out beautiful. I will share photos once she has received it. I really like them to be surprises. I know you understand. Ok, so maybe not but you still can't see it yet.
One night a special friend cooked dinner for the kids and I and another single spouse. We had a blast and oh, her German cooking was quite appetizing. She is such a gift to my life. It truly is amazing to see what happens to you when you give up and give it to God. He has blessed me with such amazing women and for that I am most thankful. I hope you are just as blessed.

Another day it was my Momma's 49th birthday. Oh yea, she is getting old. I tried my best to make sure she knew she was thought of and special. Love ya Mom!

I devoted one morning to shopping for a new and spectacular formal gown. Zeus will be graduating in Feb and we will be attending something called a Dining Out, fancy military dinner and awards. I had a gown but was not willing to wear it again. So I did what all the wives are doing and that was to find a new one. And new one I did. It is absolutely breathtaking and well, will definitely stand out. I am keeping it under wraps because I want Zeus to be surprised when he sees me in it. I want some Shock value. Anyways there will be pictures following the event.

Omega had a museum at school showcasing all the memorial projects. That was incredible to see all the hard work or lack thereof the kids had exhausted. Some were incredible, others not so much. It was great to see how proud my little man was and his true pride he took of that project. He did so good.

I also had the pleasure of being visited by some dear friends. One even brought me Starbucks and a Turkey. What a sweet gal! I am glad Zeus befriended her. She has become a very important link and will be a part of our lives for many years to come.

Zulu was invited to a birthday party. But this party was special, not your average 6 year old birthday. He got to ride in a BIG, WHITE Limousine to and from the Laser Tag site. It was really cool to see the excitement the kids conveyed when they got in it. Super happy! Man, he outdid me. I rode in my first one at during my Senior Prom.

I must say it is absolutely incredible to be given the opportunity of hearing my sweet husbands voice. Although it does not happen everyday, I cherish each call. You should know that I am GIDDY with excitement knowing that he will be coming home for a visit in 28 days. Frantically trying to get my body in a NEW shape with these extreme workouts and also wanting to make sure everything is just so when he arrives.

I hope you had a great week. I am looking forward to a relaxing Sunday and working toward getting the laundry finished. Wish me Luck.

For now, Good Night, Good day and a BIG I MISS YOU ZEUS!!!

Monday, November 16, 2009

33 Days

Yep, Yep, Yep Only 33 days until I can hug and kiss my honey. Aren't you excited? NO? Ok, but I am. Yes, in the Air Force( I can't speak for the other services) official training takes a break for Christmas. So in the middle of my husbands Officer training I will get to spend 14 days with him without ANY work/AF duties. YEA, can I get a RIGHT ON!!! Ok wait, scratch that. I will get to spend 14 days with ALL 5 members of my family. This will be interesting. We have no plans. Maybe I better plan a girls getaway or something. I might just go crazy being home for that long with everyone. You get my drift!

Anyways back to my excitement.There is only 88 days til we move. Can you believe that? I still can't wrap my head around the fact that we are leaving D.C. yet. I will miss the area. I am grateful for the opportunity to live and experience this place but I am also thankful for a chance to live in a new and exciting place that includes LOTS of family.

Wanna know something else? I know you do, I do not know why I give you a chance? This is my blog, right. HAHAHA, there is only 94 days until my handsome husband goes from being a measly E-5, Staff Sergeant ,to an incredible 0-1E, 2nd Lieutenant, otherwise known as an LT. I never imagined this day would come. I can not believe we are so close.

He is managing very well in his OTS (Officer Training School). There are things that he is struggling with but that goes without saying. Its boot camp. You can only imagine the screaming, yelling and down right crap they are having to endure. But he is keeping it together. I am proud of him.

(Here he is in his OTS room)

I was telling a friend earlier today that it is so strange (but good) that the more letters and more love that I convey to him the more he calls. I think it is awesome. Separation is tough on a family but can be very tough on a marriage. I have been without him for long periods of time very frequently so I am used to the distance. That does not make it any easier but being able to hear his voice is absolutely the best thing for me. I am so happy after just a 3 minute phone call. Whatever I can get, I'll take. Thanks Babe!

The best thing though was the amazing opportunity to get to SKYPE with my hubby on Saturday. The OTs get a little down time during the weekend so they try to fit in a little time for their family. I was so blessed with him making time to see us and let us see him. We even got a tour of his room via the web. THANKS SKYPE! What a great time to see him. I was a happy wife. The kids were running wild jumping in and out of the call so I do not think they are too affected or fully grasp what is happening, but that is ok, 2 were quite interested. I am hoping as time goes by we will get longer than 20 minutes but then again 20 min is just fine too. So it has been an weird roller coaster of emotions but it is leveling out now and a groove/schedule has been achieved.

I am super excited to get one more day under my belt towards our reunion.

Blessings and come back soon for more from the Haskins House.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Radio Silence

If you are an avid follower you know that my dearest Zeus is currently attending Officer Training School in Alabama. We have been waiting for this for a very long time.

He reported in Tuesday afternoon for what is called TD-0. After all he had done he was able to call me that evening from his cell phone. Well it was the fastest, quickest call we have EVER had in our long relationship. Yep it was short. A whole 38 seconds. Long enough for him to tell me he was alive, OK and needed a shower.

Now, this training is 60 training days., or TD's. Doesn't sound too bad until you throw in all the weekends and holidays and that 60 training days just turned into 4 months. WHEW

Now then, I am completely used to Zeus not being here physically. He has traveled pretty much off and on our entire marriage. These last 4 1/2 years he has traveled significantly. But I was able to call and chat or call and remind him of something. He could call me and he would respond to emails within an hour or so. So yes, physically he was gone but mentally and emotionally he and I were still able to connect.

This OTS thing is way different. He can not call often and let me just tell you how hard it was to go 3 days without hearing from my best friend, confidant, and lover. Then add in the fact that their are 4 little people that want to talk to Daddy and it makes for a very emotional couple of days. Oh yea, I have been at my wits end. Nervous, scared and even angry that I had not heard from him. All those emotions had consumed me and I could not seem to kick them. The more I tried to distract myself or push them aside to more they came back stronger and with more force. I however, have a few good friends that allowed me to vent to them. They even stopped by for a hug and a chat. Four BIG GIANT BLESSINGS. Thank you K, C, S and H.

God is so amazing because just when I thought I would not be able to take it anymore and just after I had given up faith my friends stepped in with good faith and love and helped me get in a better place. Then the impossible happened. Oh yes, impossible. My handsome Zeus made that amazing call I had anxiously been longing for since Tuesday. Saturday just before midnight I was able to have a very calming, sweet, informative 20 minute conversation with my #1 supporter. WOW, I was put at ease. My body was completely at peace and after being awake 22 hours on Friday I needed a peaceful rest. His voice was all I needed for complete and pure relaxation.

Then came Sunday morning. Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day, get my drift. Yea, well I awoke to the beautiful sound of my phone ringing. And take one guess who it was. Oh MY GOSH, I think I needed to change my panties after that, Zeus was on the phone again. WOW, go to sleep with him and wake up with him, now this is the life of an OTS wife. He called to chat with our little ones. It was so wonderful to see them get so excited to tell Daddy about their awesome soccer games on Saturday and their field trips and school projects. I was so happy to see little smiles on not one of their faces but all four. It was a sight to behold. After lots and lots of tears, fussiness, anger and pure misery exuding from their little bodies I was more than happy to experience a little giddiness, excitement and down right happiness. Zeus was able to give us another 30 minutes and boy did we savor every second of it. God Is GOOD. Do I need to say that again? Ok since you asked, GOD IS GOOD.

I was restored, rejuvenated and well, completely re energized. He said he would try to call when he could and that he was sorry for the "radio silence" but he was given TOO much to do and had to prioritize and you guessed it, I did not make the cut. No hard feelings. I still love him. I understand the extreme circumstances he is under because I did go through Basic Military Training more than 10 years ago myself. It was not OTS but it was boot camp. I remember the ridiculous yelling and stupid repetition of making beds and changing clothes to see how fast you could change from BDU's (Battle Dress uniforms) to PT (Physical training) gear. No it was not fun but I knew I could deal with it for 6 weeks and I did. Now he has to deal with it for 12 weeks.

I understand my job as the wife is to be the support and optimist but sheesh that can be hard. And having babies it is suddenly quadrupled. WOW, I had to vent but I had a good group of women both in person and online to support me and listen and love. Thanks BOT10-03FAMILY

Oh what a journey this shall be. Oh and did I tell you guys just 41 days until he is in my arms again for 2 whole weeks for their mandatory holiday recess. You better believe I will be spending every minute with him before he goes back to the mighty life of a GOLDHAWK.

Thursday, November 5, 2009


Today is the day that should shake, rattle and roll the bones of all you Americans out there.

I am slightly, ok maybe greatly, irritated with most opinions.

Don't get me wrong, today's attack was horrific. Absolutely terrible, but what I want you to look at is WHY.

Why did this man, an officer in our military feel he had to kill to get out of a deployment? Could it be because we have neglected our military so much that most have to be deployed a year and come home for 6-9 months only to go back for another year and so forth. Come on now. We are doing our Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Airman an injustice. Now is the time to stand up and say hey look, we need MORE military. The burden is far to great. It is not even right to send these guys over there continuously. So not cool.

Now, being a military wife I see it everyday service members coming and going. They see more stinking sand than they do of their children. Is that what we are teaching this next generation?

I am quite agitated with today's true cry for help. Because clearly that is what happened. Nobody listened when he said he could not go again. Nobody cared when he felt he needed family time. Nobody cared if he needed to go to school. NOPE!!! He was viewed as a vessel or craft. Basically told to shut up, pack your bags and get on the plane or go to jail. He chose to die and take the violence out wrongly. Yes, it was a huge mistake, but don't just brush this off. Take heart that we as Americans need to use our voices and say enough is enough. Add more troops, soldiers or get the heck out of dodge!

Being a soldier can feel so helpless because you are told where to go, when to go and then if you complain or whine or create an excuse they see it as if you are selfish. Well take a look now. What if this is the first snowball? Who will throw the next one? Will it be at our base? Will it be in your hometown? Something has got to be done and it needs to happen very quickly.

Do you all believe in preventative maintenance on your car? You know change the oil, check the fluids, rotate the tires? Yes. Is your answer yes? Because if it is then you know that in order to get the full potential out of something you must nurture it and take care of it. This goes with soldiers as well. They need to be taken care of, cleaned up, refueled, polished and rejuvenated. But we are not allowing them the opportunity to do so. Just when they get home and get readjusted they get hit with another (@^$ deployment. Come on USA. Lets use this as our wake up call or Engine light and take our car or troops in for some Preventative maintenance.

What do you say? Are you with me?

Fort Hood, we love you and we are behind you. We are pulling and pushing for help. Blessings and love surround you as you walk through this tragedy with new, clear eyes on your future.

God Bless America and God Bless the defense department

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

alive and "showerin"

Continuing on with our journey of life through a families eyes while Zeus is in Air Force Basic Officer Training.

Yesterday turned out to be a much better day for me and the family. Now, I did not get much accomplished here at the house but I did mange to pull out a pretty smile by bed time.

My children cooperated pretty well. We only had one spill at dinner and it was not a "bad" one.

I got to go shopping at the wonderful Old Navy with a friend and get me some much needed winter wear. I am very happy about that. Nice warm pants and snuggly shirts, woo hoo.

Much to my surprise last night my handsome hubby called me. Oh yes, I was thrilled to hear his voice but that is about the extent of it. He stayed on the line a whole 38 seconds. I know I must be crazy to know exactly how long but thankfully enough, it was all due to latest technology. I was on the cell so I have that documented. He said that he was alive and was told to tell me that. He said he is OK, he loves me and then had to take a "quick" shower. He was one of the few that actually got to shower. And that was it. Nothing less, Nothing more.

Its funny because I am completely rejuvenated today after speaking with him. I was able to sleep very well, even though I had 3 little munchkins in the bed when the alarm went off.

A week or so ago I ordered the kids some books from one of those magazine book fairs. You know, the ones we got so excited about when we were kids. Yea, I am that mom. So, I had asked them what kinds of books they each wanted or might be interested in? Zulu came home yesterday thrilled to tell me the books came in. All 3 big kids were super excited to start reading their new book. Amazingly enough, our TV did not come on last night at all. My munchkins were raging readers. They didn't want to go to bed because they did not want to stop reading. So cool to see them enjoy reading.

Great day, Great night, Good Sleep and now a Great Morning

TD-O complete
only 60 more to go

Saturday, October 31, 2009

A huge hole of sadness

Tonight is the night that begins the long, exciting and dreadful separation between my husband and my family. We have been preparing for this for 8 Months so I thought I was actually ready for it. Looks like I thought wrong.

As I was cleaning up and straightening up the living room I found this orange slip of paper. It was a handwritten note/letter from Omega wishing Zeus a safe and fun time on his trip. The moment I read it the tears filled my eyes thinking how strong my little boy is for writing this and thinking how thoughtful he is to write that for Daddy. How unselfish of him. It makes me sad that my babies will have to be without Daddy, one of 2 staples in their lives. It makes me scared to know that I will be that one supporting pillar in their life for 4 months. I get really nervous knowing that I hold all the cards. I am a new single mom and scared out of my mind. I am experiencing so many emotions right now. I am extremely sad for one because my spouse, love, partner, best friend has to be away and will not be able to communicate as much, actually will be VERY little communication for weeks. This is different from a war deployment or one of his business trips. At least on those you know when to expect to hear from them, they get to call, email and write and sometimes even skype. This is much more different. He has someone telling him his every move right down to when he can go pee. We are talking basic military officer training. Extremely tough stuff. I know we can do this but it doesn't stop me going through or dealing with all the emotions that this creates. I am nervous for his sanity. I am upset that I will be without him. I wish I could be that support for him like I am here. The one he can walk in the door and hug annoyingly to relieve his stress. Nope, can't do it.

I am sad for the babies that all they have to lean on is me and only me. God forbid I have a bad day. I am going to have to dig REALLY deep to get through this. I am praying that God will give me the strength, personal support, friendships, adult communication, patience, wisdom and guidance to help me parent and love the way I need to. I know I should say I should be thankful for this opportunity. I am grateful don't get me wrong, I am most grateful for this new chapter but closing this chapter is going to be VERY, VERY difficult. I know I will struggle through this. I know I will have some pretty bad days. I know I will have some pretty good days. But I also understand I have to be honest and own up to the fact that I can not do this alone. I will have to have support.

I do not know what to expect from this extra long separation. I know that I need not argue when hubby calls. I know that I need to keep him informed of things. I know that he needs our never ending support. Having talked to him about this I/we have decided to get our conversations as positive as possible. Although we are both used to ranting to each other, this is not the plan for the next few months. So I plan on using A LOT of phone minutes talking and conversing with many other adults to keep myself somewhat sane.

I had to stop writing this last night to help Zeus cut his hair and pack so I am on day 2 of my personal journal of military officer training from the spouses point of view.

Today started out miserably. Zeus left before 6am this morning and within minutes of his departure Zero was a ball of tears in my bed. You and I both know that when one of my babies cries, I cry. So we were both crying our eyes out and neither one of us got back to sleep. All the little boys showed up around 6:45am so I turned on Alvin and the chipmunks and we all snuggled til 8am. They have been very short tempered as have I. I understand the stress level here is unmeasurable. It is through the roof and I can not really do anything about it. I realize they feed off of me but durn it. Zulu has been quite the little devil today. I was very disappointed in his attitude and behavior towards me and his siblings. URRRGGGG!! I wanted to really throw him out with the trash. I didn't, I'm just saying. Ziggy was the fire starter today and boy did he start LOTS of them. He even destroyed a beautiful family photo that added to the tears. I had a pretty yucky break-down this afternoon but attending a baby shower this afternoon and feeling the love of my friends made me so much better. Thanks Ladies, I so needed that, even if I was running around making sure everyone was having fun.

Once we got home after we had a heart to heart on the way home. The kids were perfect!!! Ziggy cleaned the dinner table without being asked. Zulu picked out dinner and even helped me prepare it. Omega was so compassionate rubbing make back and asking if I was ok or needed anything. He makes me cry because he is so selfless. He is always thinking of others. I am so very proud of him. Poor little Miss Zero, she is so sensitive and is really struggling with not

having her Daddy here. It has been some time since she has struggled like this. I fear it will interfere with school, I hope not but I do think it will affect her somewhat.

I try really hard not to be a negative person. I think positivity is the object of ones strength. But we as humans need others. Physically and emotionally we need support especially in times of change or hardship. I ask you to say a little prayer for us. Say a little prayer for Zeus that he gets through this step with as few bumps as possible. I hope that you will find someone like me that needs someone and help them at least once every 2 weeks, even if its just a phone call. Find something you are good at doing and use it to bring joy to someone else.

My blogs will be very emotional for some time now as we walk this new road and the time of year it is all happening. This is my little way of reflecting on the day, journaling and decompressing. I'll hope you understand.

I leave you with a heavy heart and sadness filled mind.


Haskins Halloween

Howdy Folks-

So at my house we do celebrate the happiness that Halloween brings. We do not celebrate any evilness, scary or gory things. I personally believe that the skeletons, monsters, zombies, vampires and anything bloody or dead is uncalled for. Just my opinion.

So we as a family pick a theme. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR!!! I have planned themes since little miss what a few months old. This year was a bit more difficult. We had decided to go with Sesame Street but while I was scoring magazines, catalogs, stores and websites I came to the realization that Sesame street costumes are mostly for adults. Who'd of Thunk it? So we had to change after the heartbreaking discussion of "sorry you can't be that". So the research began again trying to come up with a theme with at least 4 characters.

Finally, I had found it. All I had to do was convince the 4 youngsters that this is what "they" wanted to be. All were well except Ziggy who absolutely wanted to be what Omega wanted to be.

So I had to compromise with him and beg plead and bargain before he finally came around. He eventually did and boy I am so glad he did.

Our Theme, Disney's Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!!!

Zero was Minnie

Omega was Mickey

Zulu was Goofy

Ziggy was Donald Duck

Zeus and I typically do not dress up. I might some day but now it is all about the kids and I do not want to distract or take away anything from them. Especially all the ooooo's and aaahhhh's.

That is the idea, Right?

Well, maybe just me. Forgive me. I do make sure they turn heads. I love for them to stand out and make an Impact. I'm the mom and I am proud of my babies and yes, I absolutely want them to make an impression on others and want them to be remembered. This is one of those holidays.

We took them on a parade, then to a terribly organized costume contest and then we went trick or treating.

It was a lot of fun. A friend went with us with their little 2 year old. It was nice. My children had so much excitement and energy. Zeus and I had to run a few times to keep up with the 4 of them. Seriously, they were running from house to house super excited to be the first to the next house to see what they could snag. Hilarious and a little scary! My knee was killing me after the 1 hour of trick or treating. I am not sure how much ground we covered but it was every bit of 2 miles or more.

During the trick or treating excitement Zeus brought a bag to empty buckets. He had to go home 2 times to dump the bag. Yea, lots of candy. We are talking 24lbs of candy. No joke, we weighed it after filling a HUGE box.

Then they had about an hour to pass out candy at our house. Zeus set up their little lawn chairs and I got each of them a bowl to pass out candy. Each trick or treater that came by had to stop by each and every chair. It was so funny and yes they had a good time. They were even yelling down the street at trick or treaters to come here. Super cute!!

I am a happy and pleased Mommy.

Great time, Great memories and AWESOME BLACKMAIL for later.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Zulu turns 6

Happy Birthday Mister Zulu!!!

Today is the day, your birthday.

I am so proud of you.

You have become such an intelligent little man.

You are so independent.

I am so glad God brought you into our life.

You are the first "planned" child of our family.

We are so lucky to have you around. Everyone will always play fair if you are involved.

I pray that you will grow into a handsome, loving, caring young man. I pray that you will find a loving caring spouse one day. I pray that you will attend the college of your choice, graduate and become the great Firefighter you continue to dream about.

Zulu, what a loving little cuddler you are. It is so special for Mommy to roll over in bed and see you snuggling with me. It makes me so happy.

I cried a little yesterday taking down you handdrawn pictures because you are growing up right before my eyes. It is so scary. I will cherish these little hand prints and first drawings and paintings.

I think this birthday is the first step in becoming a BIG boy. You will forever be my baby though.

Remember that in order to succeed in life you must be willing to put others first. Help out the best way you know how and learn that we are all in this together, no matter how you are treated.

Son Daddy and I love you and will be here whenever you need us.


Monday, October 19, 2009

My love of crafting

Howdy buddies!!

How was everyone's weekend? Ours was fantastic. Friday night Zeus decided he wanted a family night. I was fine with that since we only have 2 weekends left with him before he heads off to OTS. Oh yes, I am a soon to be Officers Wife. WOO HOO!!! So we went to dinner for Mexican of course, Zeus' favorite. Then we took the kids to the movies to see " Where the wild things are?". Zeus then surprised us all with Cold stone ice cream. What a wonderful time we had.

Speaking of soon to be, I also am a soon to be Auntie for the 5th time. This one tugs at my heart just a little bit more than the previous 4. Don't get me wrong, each one holds a special place with me but this one is part of me. This one is the first blood niece and she will belong to my precious and sweet brother. That being said, I have a great past time that came from my beautiful grandmother, Crafting. Oh how I love to craft.

A while back( 3 years ago) I was throwing my best friend a baby shower and researching fun ideas that I could do to make this a unique and unforgettable experience for her. I found lots of fun ideas and had to narrow it down. That was hard. I wanted to do everything for her but only had so much time. I decided to put my time into trying to make one of those things called Diaper cakes. I had never seen one but wanted to make one the minute I spotted it. It was fun and has been a learning process. I have made several of these for precious family and friends and gave one away a few months back.

So when I found out my new sister in law was pregnant I was super happy that I would get to make another one. After doing all the chatting with my Sis I found the colors she was interested in and then I was off and running. Living 2000 miles away I was going to have to ship this thing. So I pieced it together and sent it off in hopes it would make it for the beloved baby shower being thrown for her. I can say it made it safely without any surgery on the other side.

Regrettably I had to have my mom deliver it. I would have much rather delivered it myself but just could not get there, Thanks military. I am grateful to my mom for helping me. Much to my surprise my Sis called to tell me Thank you within minutes of the closing of her shower. That leads me to believe she must have liked it. What do you think? Did She like it?

Without further ado here is my Sister in Laws one of a kind diaper cake, oh and Her too!!!

Come back soon for more pictures and fun stories from the Haskins House, Blessings

Friday, October 16, 2009

Laughing til I cry.............

Hello bloggy buddies!

I just had to share a piece of my Mommy life with you today.
Many of you know that I have been working really hard with Ziggy on the whole potty training. He has done excellent. When he needs to potty he has to announce it to everyone in his loudest voice while using the full size toilet on his own. It is really cute but can be embarrassing if we have company of any kind. He has yet to have an accident while sleeping either during nap time or nighttime. Don't get me wrong we have had a few accidents. They typically are caused by loose stools, or in my kids language Juicy poop. Now, once this happens it can be a HUGE mess to clean up. It is never easy or fun and down right disgusting. I deal with it because I know it will soon be over and I will no longer be able to help my "baby".

Normally when this happens I assist Ziggy to the bathroom and promptly remove the rug. Then we carefully take off the shorts or pants and then I stand him on the seat of the toilet to take off the undies. It is nasty. But any droppings will fall into the toilet and I can clean the seat easily. I usually clean the undies in the toilet bowl while continually flushing the toilet. You get the gist. I know it is weird that I had to explain but stay with me here I have a point.
Well this afternoon after eating lunch I knew Ziggy had a full tummy and had him go potty while I was finishing eating. He did great. I wiped him and sent him on his way. A few minutes later he came back and said he accidentally had an accident and a little poop came out into his underoos. I told him to go to the bathroom and I would be there in just a minute. Just then I hear splashing in the toilet and I immediately thought he had diarrhea. So I ran quick to check on him and this is what I found..................................

I was on the phone at the time and was absolutely dying laughing. OH my, he was trying to, in his words, do it himself. OH MY WORD, Seriously I was laughing and crying all at the same time.

Then he says "Are you laughing at me. Am I funny" "I was just trying to help"
Yes dear Ziggy you were just trying to help. It is just so funny to see a 3 year old trying to clean poop from a pair of underoo's. But I love you
Lesson of the day: Like Mother Like son. Children will do things that they see, even if it is disgusting.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Why I do it!

This morning with the rainy and COLD weather upon us I am a little cranky. I know you are dying to ask why aren't you. Well, let me just tell you.

I am one of those parents that loves to get involved with my children's lives. So I coach their little league teams.

Well today, I am beginning to question why I do this. Why do I put forth the energy to go out there 3 times a week to run practice and games knowing there will be at least 3 unruly children, 2 that don't know how to listen and one that lives in another world. Why do I try to talk over them causing my voice to come and go throughout the season? Why do I do this ALL by myself? Yep, no assistant coach this year, its me and me alone. I must be insane. Yep, that's it. Pure insanity!!

Why the crankiness, Twinkle?

Tuesday I tried to do something a little different. My Husbands team practices right by our team and we thought it would be fun, different and a unique learning experience to intermix our two teams and have them scrimmage each other. Mind you that my kids are 5-6 and his are 7-9. It is something we have done in the past that has the kids beaming with joy and allows both groups to see what the other group is learning and what level they are on. That being said I have a parent that was livid with me about doing this and thought it had no purpose and was purely dangerous. Really? I don't see you out here with these rambunctious hooligans now do I.
And yes I can call them that in my blog! Deal with it. So I calmly talk to this parent and explain mine and Zeus' thoughts and why we do it. I do not think I satisfied him but at least he left me alone after that. Sheesh. Didn't realize I needed to arm myself with a shield before putting on my coaching whistle.

Then I decide to take practice down to once a week since we typically do this every year/ season once games start. Zeus and I have practice at the same time since that is what is best for our family. We decided to do this together like we have EVERY season in the past. This year we decided to let another team take the big field on Thursday since they have been practicing in the dark. I thought it was a great idea by Zeus myself, but some on my team don't agree. Dang I just can't seem to win. As hard as I try to be creative, try new things and keep the kids interested the parents seem to push back. Ugggg, It really makes me want to throw my hands up and walk away because I am not getting paid a single dime to do this. This purely is VOLUNTEER. I am hanging with it because my child is involved and the season is halfway done. I will continue but honestly just stop with the coach bashing. Appreciate that I try my best, that I show up, and that the kids are actually learning something.

If you are a parent and have a volunteer coach, I would like to share with you a few things you could do to help out your child's team and coach.

Try your best not to get upset with their coaching. Please keep your extreme emotions off the field or court. Please volunteer to be an assistant and/or team parent. Be supportive of all coaching decisions. Ask if you can help. Make sure your child is on time and if you will be late or absent be courteous to let the coach know when your child will be missing out. We count on these kids and can not run a team if we are missing half of it. If you have an issue discuss it AFTER games and practices AWAY from the kids and other parents, it can be damaging and embarrassing to all parties.

Thanks for listening to me vent today bloggy buddies. I am sorry to be so darn negative but geez, I can not hold it forever.
Blessings and enjoy your weekend and family

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Family and Friends Friday 6th edit.

Hello Bloggy buddies. I know it has been awhile but life has been happening over here at the Haskins House. I now bring back my famous Friday edition of Family and Friends Friday.
This is where I openly and honestly thank someone important to me and my life before their funeral. I want to be able to tell them how I feel before that fateful day or otherwise too late.
I want them to know what they mean to me and be able to smile about it.

So todays winner was really easy. Its you R.D.H.S.

Zeus today I dedicate this blog to you. With you leaving us I felt today was the right day for you.

You know I can say "I love you" a million times to you but it just doesn't seem special enough. Those words seem simple in comparison to what you mean to me and our family.

That first evening I saw you sitting there on the bleachers watching us practice gave me goose bumps. I wanted to know who that person was. Then I met you and found out how funny you are in EVERY SITUATION. That was the sign that you were a keeper.
From the first kiss in the tent to the last kiss this afternoon I have loved you and will continue to love you everyday of my life.

It is so funny to see how alike we are yet so different. I am so thankful for your patience with me. I know I can be a handful most of the time but you always seem to keep it together and do what needs to be done in my time of despair, anger, frustration and irritation. You are truly wonderful.

I look back at the way this all worked out and just thank the lord for you. Zeus you are amazing. I have never shared so many special things and places with one person. So thank you as I know there will be many more.

Can you believe it has been 10 years? Me neither, it is kinda strange.

I want to thank you for all 4 of these gorgeous and interesting children. They love you as much as I do and every time I see you play with them my heart goes pitter patter with joy. I couldn't have picked a better Father or Daddy for my babies. I think this is why I keep you around!

You are an awesome husband but what's better than that is the fact that you are the most playful and loving Father. A dad that coaches soccer, baseball, and basketball is truly a caring man. Seeing you on the floor rough housing with the kids always makes me gush. I may not smile on the outside but I am smiling arm to arm on the inside. I love how patient you are with Math homework and how you push the kids with projects. And what's even better is your eye for consequences. You have encouraged me to turn consequences into a learning experience for all of us.

You must know that I appreciate all the breakfasts in bed, all the wonderful times you came home early from a trip to surprise me, and all the times you brought me flowers. Even if I can count them all on one hand. I am thankful for you allowing me to sleep in and grateful for all the diaper changing you did. I never could have potty trained all these kids so thank you. Zeus, I have found the love of my life with you and I so appreciate you sharing it with me.

I want to thank you for the fantastic surprise trip to Hawaii. Wow, what husband lies to his wife in front of his parents and plans something so special to one place only to take her someplace else. Yep, only you.

Thank you for the wonderful Mothers day in Atlanta. What a great way to spend my first Mothers day.

Thank you for the beautiful trip to Orlando and Tampa, even if it was in celebration of a Bachelors degree for you it was sure special.

And the embarrassing trip to Atlantic city for my birthday which was unforgettable.

Thank you for buying me a car for valentines day and for driving all that way for 2 pretty puppies. Something else that will stick with me is that you have accepted my extended family. You treat them like your own family and for that I am most grateful. I couldn't ask for much more than that. I could go on all day with these types of thank yous, but I won't embarrass you just yet.

Thank you for pushing through all those long nights of studying to graduate college with a Bachelors degree and then continuing on for that Masters degree so that our family would be provided for years down the line. That is love. I know it and whether I ever told you or not please know that I am most grateful. Most would have stopped at the Bachelors degree but you always do as much as you can. I love to see your determination. You can not be mediocre, you have to be the best and that competitiveness and hard working attitude is greatly loved and adored.
I can never thank you enough for fixing the cars, mowing the lawn, setting up computers and sounds systems. The funniest thing is coming home to a completely rearranged living room or bedroom. Talk about crack me up. Honey, that is something only you would do and I love it.

I know I squirm when you play your little pranks and jokes on me but secretly I am grateful for the attention and thoughts from you. Cause I know you are thinking of me. And that is the greatest.

I am so thankful for your attention to detail when planning anything from family road trips across the country to a short trip to Virginia beach. Whatever it is you have covered every inch of the planning. I could never do that and am most grateful that you do.

Thank you for marrying me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for pushing through the rough days with me. Thank you for accepting the Cowboys as your football team. Thank you for providing for our family. Thank you for serving this country honorably.

We appreciate you and I want you to know that I am along for the ride and will be your first mate, map reader, navigator, wife or whatever you want to call me for 70 more years.

The next 4 months will be tough for all of us but as we look to the end, our lives will become much easier and you will preform like I know you can. What a great gift we have been given.
I know you will do well in school as you strive to achieve the highest level in everything you do. Even if you work til after 7 to finish up todays work.

So today I lay it all out there to tell you and the world that you are loved, appreciated and cared for. All things are noticed. All things are special. Even if I forget to tell you or forget to call or forget to thank you, please know that you are MY ZEUS ALMIGHTY.