Thursday, November 20, 2008

Worst Week Ever

Have you seen that show on TV called Worst week ever. It shows celebrities having serious problems, normally jail time or arrests. I got to thinking last night as I lay in the bed wishing I were asleep about my worst week ever. I thought man I could blog this one. So prepare your mind for the worst week in Dusty's life or that she can remember.

Rewind back in time 3 years ago this week. Yes, late November 2005. I was 38 1/2 weeks pregnant with #4. We just moved to D.C. 3 months prior. Ryan would be on his very first trip away from home, Greensboro, N.C. So everything was up to me.

The kids had to be driven to school because Jr. was in Pre-K and they do not bus children until they are in Kindergarten.

The first day Ryan left he locked everything up and drove off. I had to take the kids to school the next morning. I went to get the mail and noticed my keys were gone. Oh Shoot!! I rummaged through the house trying frantically to find my keys since we have locked mail boxes, I must have the key and Ryan being Ryan took all his keys with him. After no luck finding my keys I run out to the van, which I normally leave unlocked. I lift the handle and try to open the door. Nope, it does not budge. So I run around the other side of the car to try the driver side door. Nope, it is locked too. I go into panic mode and try all the doors. Not one door is unlocked. I always leave the doors unlocked. Crap, I look in the window and sure enough their is my purse in the console with my long lost keys. ARE YOU KIDDING!!!! What am I going to do now? Since we live on a military installation we have base cops. So I call the LE Desk and ask to see if anyone can come break into the car with their little tools. A couple hours and 3 cops later and my car is still not unlocked. They tell me the guru does not come in till a certain time. I wait patiently for him to come unlock my car. He gets here in all his glory with his buddies. He tries and tries and tries. Nothing. He can not get into the van. The nice guru tells me I have to call a locksmith. CRAP!!! I would say you are not the Guru now. Now I have to pay money to get those stupid keys. I pull the phone book of the dusty shelf and find the locksmith section. I start from the top and start making calls. The first one tells me oh, we do not come on base. WHAT!!!! I give them the whole sob story about hubby away and me being 38 1/2 weeks pregnant.

He politely says sorry ma'am, can't do it. Well I end up having to do this more than 30 times. Oh yes, fortunately for me, locksmiths don't like to come on military installations because of the search and extreme security. This is grand. Here it is 7:30pm and still no keys. Finally phone call #38 and the man on the other end is extremely hesitant. I tell him how miserable I am, how many locksmiths I have talked to and my whole situation. He takes the bait. YEA, So it takes him over an hour to get here but he came. Thank goodness. He gets out walks around my van and then comes to the front door and asks me to come out. I walk around and he asks if those are the keys. In his mind I am going to lift the handle but I never did, long story short he unlocked the car door in less than 2 minutes. YES, Keys. Oh, now I have to pay him the 85 dollars. Crap there is only 80 dollars in the bank account. I'm thinking, please go through, please go through. Thankfully the credit card goes through. WHEW!!! off to get the kids to bed. Next morning I get the kids off to school, and get in the shower. I come down stairs to find Riley #3 in the kitchen swimming in Cheerios. OH yes!! The box was empty. It had to be the biggest cheerio box I ever bought too. The floor could not be seen, nothing but cheerios and mischievous boy. OHHHHHHH!!! Mommy not happy. I get it cleaned up and move on. The next day I wake up to take the kids to school and shower again. I come down stairs to this.

Yes Riley has taken the entire bottle of baby powder and decorated himself and the chair. This time I thought to get the camera. OH no!! This is not good. So I go get the vacuum to clean it all up and it won't turn on. WHAT, this is not happening. Thank God for neighbors. I run across the street to borrow the neighbors vacuum. Get all the powder cleaned out of my favorite chair, which takes quite a while. Return the vacuum and proceed to cry. This week is turning out to be miserable. But oh it's not over. The next day is Saturday so we all get to sleep in a little and relax, or so I thought. I wake up to Courtney yelling at the little boys. I run down stairs to find the 3 of them mixing and stirring flour and sugar in the middle of the dining room floor that is carpet and the easy bake oven plugged in with flour and sugar all over it. HOLY GUACEMOLE!!! They almost started a fire with their baking skills. So guess what, I have to go borrow the neighbors vacuum again. She must be thinking I am crazy or have OCD about a clean house. I explain to them how unsafe it is to use this thingy. I box it all up and put in the closet never to get it out again. I know you must be thinking what is she doing not watching these kids. I was watching but our house is 2 stories and all the bedrooms are upstairs. The kids get up at the crack of dawn so yea, they made another mess. WHEW!!!! So things are getting better as the day goes by. The next day I try to do some laundry. Put the clothes in the dryer and nope it does not spin. I try my best to figure out what is wrong. It is broken and I figure out the heating element is out. CRAP, no vacuum, no dryer and now our bank account is negative. God grant me the serenity................................. I call my mom who lives in Texas and tell her my story. She says she will buy me a new vacuum and dryer. Things I can not live without with almost 4 kids. Thank you so much Mom. So a few days without a vacuum and dryer. So payday comes and I am thrilled to get to go to the commissary. I check the account and find out my husband has somehow paid the van payment twice and paid the car payment twice. OMG. Please kill me now. Can it get any worse? Yes, it does. The next morning I wake up to Jr complaining that his cheek hurts. It is swollen, red and extremely sore. So I find another nieghbor and ask if she will watch the other 2 kids while I take him to the ER. We get to the ER and the nurse calls us back and looks at him and immediately starts calling tons of doctors. She says he has an infection in his cheek from one of his teeth. LOVELY, now we have to have a tooth pulled. I of course, can't go back with Jr because I am pregnant and all the x-rays are bad for baby. So he has to have it pulled all alone. I am feeling like the worst mother ever by this point. I am thinking Ryan can not get home soon enough. After being at the hospital for 6 hours and Jr less one tooth and all swollen from all the shots and meds we go back home and get the other 2 kids. One more day and Ryan should be home, I think I can make it. Please God do not let anything else happen. I am not sure I can take anything else. To my surprise nothing more goes down and Ryan makes it home safely. I have so much to tell him and have no idea where to begin. Let me remind you keys locked in car, cheerio kitchen, overdrawn bank acct, dead dryer, dead vacuum, powdered chair, tooth extraction, double car payments, Easy bake mess.
So as you can see I have been tested and rose to the challenge, unwillingly. What is your worst week ever? Did you make it through it? Lets see who out there in blog world has a WWE.


Charisse said...

OHMYGOODNESS!!!! I wanted to cry FOR you just now reading that. Good thing it was three years ago and you NOW know that you lived through it and you are I am sure a few hairs less but a bit stronger. :-)

If you ever get sent back to Georgia then TELL ME and we can hang out.